My Political Platform

JDs Halloween post kindled many thoughts in me. And in this time of voting and change being on the horizon, if I am accepted onto the Halloween Holiday Board I will take immediate action to improve our current situation. As I read over JD’s costume list, I noticed that it reflected much of what I saw from recent Halloweens - WEAK outfits. I remember my mom spending hours sewing up such classic costumes as Yoda and a California Raisin. It is like the parents aren't even trying anymore. Or maybe the kids don't have any imaginations or think that some costumes are too infantile, and thus unworthy. I saw one kid with normal clothes, some white face paint, and some red lines that I supposed were supposed to represent lacerations. I asked him what he was, and he just held out his basket and shrugged. Whatever the case, I think many have forgotten that looking cool is the reason for the season.

I understand that we don’t need to be flushing future college tuition down the drain just for a costume, but come on! Give me something. So I recommend putting more power into the hands of the candy giver. If the kids are just throwing on some shoddy costume just to get candy, then take their very incentive out of their baskets. If you don't approve of the costume (for whatever reason – crappy, no imagination, offensive, etc.) then you don’t hand out candy. It will only take a year or two of this system to increase costume thoughtfulness. Granted, you open yourself to a house and car egging later in the evening, but it is time to make people earn the individually wrapped candy we worked so hard to purchase.

I propose we candy be dolled out according to merit. This socialistic candy distribution to everyone is not working. It has removed any impetus for excelling. Seriously, should the beautifully adorned princess get the same amount of candy as the kid who threw on some work clothes? I ask you - are these the principles that founded America? I don't think so! So here is the breakdown of the candy distribution that makes sense and puts more candy in to the hands that deserve it:

Regular clothes/haphazardly thrown together costume - 0 Pieces
Costume with little imagination - 1 Piece
Costume that is thoughtful, just not over the top - 2 Pieces
Costume reflecting a parent with too much time - 3 Pieces
Costume straight out of Hollywood - 4 Pieces(or a King Size)

This is the year for change. So let’s begin with something near and dear to all of us. After all, if the effort displayed at Halloween is any indication of our economic status, then we are indeed in a crisis.