The Sniper Did It

When I walked into our tiny apartment one Monday last fall, my grandmother told me that her cat had been laying on the side of the road motionless all morning.

I walked outside to find the fury carcass laying, with wind gently billowing its yellowish-gray fur. The cat's one eye appeared larger than the other, as if the wave of explosion pushed it out like in a Tom and Jerry cartoon. Its mouth agape. Blood stains covered the stiffened body.

I wrapped it into tarp and sheets and carried the carcass to the small wooded area near the apartment across from the rail road tracks. My grandmother walked behind, crying, sobbing, and creating theories about the possible murder of the love of her life. I dug a hole in the ground; she wandered off to pick some flowers. I put the cat into the hole and covered it with ground. My grandmother laid the wild flowers and still crying walked home.

At home, she and my mother dove into conspiracy theories regarding the untimely death of the cat.

"Someone must have hit her with a rock," my mother said.

"Someone must have ran over her head while she was sleeping," was the theory of my less-sane grandmother.

In short 10 minutes, they have developed an outline for a TV series pilot with the cat as the main character. They did so without any demands for compensation for the rights to distribute it over the Internet (Hi, mom!).

The mafia, the story goes, sends out snipers to hide on roofs of five-story block apartment buildings in our neighborhood with the purpose of aimless cat murder. My mother felt the urge to share her theories with everyone around -- including a plummer who came for the third time to finish his work on a toilet after he had already been paid for the job.

The fall has turned into winter, which is now giving its way to spring. One cannot know the precise location of the grave any more. I don't know if my grandmother has ever been out looking for it or whether she visited her blockbuster hero. I do know, however, that to this day she reminisces about her beloved cat as if only yesterday the sniper killed it.

The Unhappy Existence of Emery Hemersbach - Part 1 - A Review

The following is a short story written by local author Crystal Brown. I have taken it upon myself to review said story. But first, so you'll know what i'm talking about... here is that story:

Emery Hemersbach was born the seventh son of a dirt farmer in Hennepin County, Missouri. After a three year stint in the navy, Mr. Hemerbach bought a plot and married the youngest daughter of the nearest neighbor. They farmed 40 acres on the back side of a swamp, and bred six strapping healthy boys.
The seventh, a small, weak, mewling baby with a tuft of pure white hair atop his head. At seeing his seventh son, Mr. Hemersbach shrugged his shoulders, spit on the floor, and went out to til another 15 acres.
Mrs. Hemersbach, upon seeing her son, mentioned to her midwife she was "mighty chilled" then closed her eyes and died.
The midwife, a negro woman from two towns over, and the only midwife Mr. Hemersbach could afford, had no idea what to do with the unwanted and now motherless child, dropped him at the door of the Hennepin County Orphanage on the way back to town with a note pinned to his blanket that simply stated "Emery."
Emery Hemersbach spent the entire 16 years of his childhood at the orphanage before shipping off to do his own 3 year stint in the navy much like his unknown father. While in the navy, Emery had the unfortunate duty to clean the bandages in the infirmary. while boiling a pot of them, Emery happened to sneeze, wiped his nose on his sleeve, and continued his duty. Later, a young sailor was treated for minor scrapes from a kitchen accident when he took ill from contaminated bandages and died. Aaron Bailey Hemersbachs' body was shipped back to his father, a farmer in Hennepin County, Missouri.
This was the beginning of a series of unfortunate circumstances that would see Emery Hemersbach being the unwilling tool in the deaths of all his brothers.
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Wow! All I can say is wow! I mean WOW!
Intriguing? Definitely! A succinct background story leads right into the beginnings of the next Great American Novel, wherein our protaganist lives out his life, unknowningly avenging his miserable existence by wiping out his father's heirs. I personally can't wait to find out more about young Emery "Hemersbach." So he was the runt of the family litter when he was born, but what now? Is he an ugly duckling in the making, to become not only a device of "murder" but also an intimidating presence? Or is he woodyallenesque. Based on the bumble that lead to contaminated bandages and therefore the death of one of his six brothers, I'd say the latter. Not sure what year this story takes place in, but I'm not sure it matters. This could easily be the kind of timeless tale that will speak true for generations to come. And what of the fate of Emery's remaining 5 brothers? And is there love in the air for young Emery? And what part will he play in the service of his country? Or is the navy merely a stepping stone in a drama that may well play out through his entire life?
Certainly this story raises many questions, but right out of the gate it pleases it's audience with the sweet innocense that you only get in really good stories about orphans.
With any luck, Ms. Brown will complete the remaining chapters of this yarn soon, so that all the above questions may be answered, and my curiousity satisfied.