Saturday, November 29, 2008

The Death of the High School Reunion

Last night I accompanied my wife to her 10 year high school reunion. It was the right thing to do. Now, keep in mind that I deliberately skipped my own reunion last year because I just don't have the taste for that sort of an event...awkward conversation, poor quality buffet type food, etc. But being the good husband that I try to be, I sucked it up and took one for the team.

It was exactly as I had imagined it. I mostly stood/sat in near silence as nearly all of the conversation focused around the good old days I was not a part of, not to mention it was extremely loud from the music (surprisingly not all pulled from this graduating class's high school years) so it was difficult to follow conversation most of the time. I swear I was not trying to be a stick in the mud, but I just really had nothing to say. No one asked me what I did, or anything else really, even when I would engage them and ask them about what they were into. Isn't that how it's supposed to be? I scratch your back if you scratch mine?

The upside was that they ended up being extremely liberal with the drink tickets as they must not have had as many people show up as what they were expecting, so we each got four tickets...yowza. Had they stocked any type of beer that I was interested in I may have been in trouble. Had a couple Sam Adams and a s-t-r-o-n-g gin & tonic and that was all I cared for.

Ended up at a brewpub where a friend of ours was playing (played a brilliant acoustic guitar version of Blackstreet's "No Diggity"), the Waldorff in Hastings...had a not-to-good porter and a decent stout, and that would have all perfectly redeemed the evening if I could have gotten a bite to eat but the kitchen had already closed...oh well.

Last thought: In a world of Facebook, My Space, Linked In, etc., what's the point of high school reunions?

Tuesday, November 25, 2008

30 rock rules, disappointing super saturday

I was watching a recent episode of EpicFu and heard the term “green collared jobs”. Really? Aren’t we going a little far with the green movement?



Moving on . . .

30 Rock, season 1. Quality entertainment. Makes fun of themselves, everybody and everything else. The characters are great and play off each other in hilarious ways. I’m surprised I liked Alec Baldwin so much. Can’t remember the last thing I liked him in? State and Main maybe? Before that Glengarry Glen Ross or Beetlejuice. I’m tracking down Season 2 and can’t wait to catch up. I would be willing to add this to my TV rotation.

Off of the rotation is House. I am so done with this show.

Media on demand is so the way to go. No commercials, blow through material instead of waiting for a designated time. How did we function before tivo and box sets?



I spent Saturday afternoon in front of the TV.

Man Utd v Aston Villa
Disappointing match. Rooney had a real chance to win it and blasted his shot into the crowd. Utd was definitely not at their best and look to be off the pace. Ji-sung Park works hard but almost never has the final touch: pass, cross or shot. On a day when they could have made some real ground on the leaders, Utd lacked the quality. Ronaldo really looks bad. Maybe it’s fitness, complacency or something else. It looks as if he is regressing instead of moving forward. Very disappointing.

Juve v Inter. Not the greatest game on the eyes, but Inter’s power is something to behold. Juve were very lucky not to be 1-0 down after they turned it over to Ibra. Juve wasn’t very dangerous, but still created a handful of chances. Camo’s header at the end would have saved a point, but in the end Inter deserved to win. Typical Jose. Not fancy, just successful.
MLS Cup final. I watched the last 10 minutes of the final. The Home Depot Center looks like a nice venue and is a far cry from Foxboro, with the mammoth, non-occupied stands and the throwball lines. Columbus’ third goal showed great vision and effort.



Last night I finished Miller’s Crossing. I would say it’s good, not great. It seems to lose some its gusto towards the end as the double crossers double cross someone else and so on. The last shot of Byrne is a mystery but who am I to criticize?

Thursday, November 20, 2008

Breakfast

Relieved to hear that we avoided making the list of the Worst Blogs on the Internet, I feel I can again surface to add a post to this fine community. Which I helped to launch, but have lately been a poor contributor.

I have lately become aware of so many more readers of this blog than I knew were out there. We don't keep a counter here, in part to avoid the temptation to write for an audience instead of ourselves (not that we can ever truly avoid that). So we don't know how often we are visited, and from where those visitors come. But I've just heard from a lot of people in the last few months who have noticed my absence and mentioned it. This inspires me to check in more often. Friends in the Dominican Republic, in England, our good friends in California, and so many others that I don't talk to enough. This one's for you.

In the last 3 months I've made some decent money at poker, almost ruined my car by not tightening my lugnuts, borrowed a nice laptop, purchased a nicer laptop, given up on the TV show Heroes, discovered the joy of a quiet breakfast alone with a newspaper, survived a cold, worked on my jump shot, won an election (as a campaign manager, not a candidate), experienced an economic downturn, experienced a historic American moment, and tonight, just tonight, watched the Michigan basketball team knock off the #4 ranked UCLA Bruins. It's been a great time.

So many good blog posts to be had there, but I think tonight I will focus on the breakfast. During the campaign I had to attend these county meetings for the Democratic party, and if that doesn't sound boring enough, they took place downtown at 7 in the morning. At first I hated it, but after a few I started to look forward to them. Because the meetings would let out at 9am, I had an hour of downtime before I had to open the comic book store, and so I would buy a paper, go to a nice coffee-and-eggs diner downtown, and take an hour to chill out and read the news.

I grew to love this time, so much that I now observe the ritual even though I don't have to go to the meetings anymore. Every Friday morning I try to get up an hour early (with middling success), get downtown early, and take some time for breakfast.

One of the things I really like about the diner are the patrons. It looks kind of like that place in the movie "City Hall", where John Cusak goes to meet with Danny Aiello over breakfast to discuss business. It has that feel to it. And there are a group of tables pushed together on one side of the restaraunt where the Guys get together, usually about 8-10 of them. I've never been able to discern if all of the Guys are retired, or only some of them, or if they are/were all in the same line of work.

What I know is that they're always there on Friday mornings, and I'm guessing on other days also, talking about sports, the news, jawing with the waitress, and just sitting around drinking coffee and enjoying an extended morning together. I like to imagine that they've all known each other for decades, that they've been coming to this diner for breakfast together for years, and that they'll all grow old together and always have this place to come to in the morning. They remind me that it's ok to relax, to take some things slow, enjoy your coffee, and that the world outside with it's long to-do lists and urgent matters doesn't necessarily have to be answered to Right This Second.

So that's my post. If you're lucky, I'll do another one next week. In the meantime, enjoy your coffee. Read the paper. You have time for it - you really do.

Wednesday, November 19, 2008

question: favorite new TV show

thought i would change things up. instead of a poll, which is not very dynamic or flexible, i will create a post that can be commented and discsussed. i believe that this is called a "thread."

anyway, what is your favorite new TV show so far? i came across an article on digg that bemoaned the lack of quality thus far.

let us know.

Tuesday, November 18, 2008

footy and movies

Thursday night I watched Juve v Genoa. What a display. Juve rode their luck and were clinical in front of goal to go ahead 2-0. The game finished 4-1, and it was one of the best performances I’ve seen this season. Very reminiscent of last season when they outworked their opponents and created chance after chance. I’m still not sure they can keep it up. At least they are playing Tiago now instead of Poulsen. Sissoko is still in the team, but I’m hoping Zanetti is fit soon. With the win, Juve was on top of the table for the first time since the calciopoli scandal. Inter won to back on top, but for one brief moment, Juve was back in their rightful place.



What a great weekend. Went to Art’s Bar and Grill on Friday night. It’s a local establishment on Kalamazoo St. that was filled with people, smoke and giant goblets of beer. Forget the Brewtus at Applebee’s. It took two hands to drink this bad boy. Ummm . . . beer.

Saturday, got up and watched Manchester United game. They absolutely destroyed Stoke. The final was 5-0 and could have been much worse. CR7 had two nice free kicks, but to be honest, the rest of the game he was crap. His moves weren’t coming off, his passing was atrocious and he was back to his diving. I thought Fletcher had a phenomenal game, and Wellbeck’s debut goal was stunning. Then I watched the second half of Arsenal and Villa. What a result for Villa. Arsenal was all over them, but couldn’t really create clear cut opportunities. Then one bad touch from Clichy and instead of grinding out a draw, Arsenal went to all out attack for the equalizer. That chance was destroyed by a devastating effort from Gabby, who shook off Captain Billy and slotted the second goal in. Consistency, Gunners. Look it up.

Then it was off to help the Vance’s move. Got that out of the way and it was back to the house for some Coen brothers.

Fargo. I had not seen this in forever. It is depressingly realistic. The dialogue and interaction is understated and not dynamic, but how many times in your life do you think, I’m living in a movie? The story was told, the story ends and life moves on. In essence, crime doesn’t pay.

Big Lebowski. What a great movie. Hilarious dialogue, fantastic characters, outrageous situations. The movie creates a world that is just slightly surreal and lets you in for an hour and a half. If you haven’t seen it, rent it TODAY!!

Planning on watching Raising Arizona and Miller’s Crossing in the next couple of weeks, hopefully before Burn After Reading comes out on DVD.



Sunday after church went to see Quantum of Solace. A great Bond film. Action sequences of breathtaking action and detail. Story was actually somewhat believable, which was a nice change of pace. The last sequence was a little over the top, but what are you going to do? Make sure you watch Casino Royale right before. I made the mistake of not doing that and missed out on certain elements of the plot. I can’t wait until it comes out on DVD and watch them back to back. I’m sure I’ll enjoy Quantum a lot more the second time.



Finally, I saw this link on digg.com:
11 lamest blogs http://www.pcworld.com/article/153615/top_11_lamest_blogs.html

I took the time to scan it. No need to worry, we are not on the list.



Ta Ta.

Monday, November 17, 2008

Movie Malaise

I am not a comic book geek anymore (unlike many of the contributors on this blog) and that is okay – both that they are and that I am not. In fact, I have been out of the loop for quite some time and have not seen many of the comic book movies that have come out in the last 5 years. I have not seen Iron Man, Fantastic 4, Spiderman 2, or even the newest Batman (though it is high on my list). Really, they don’t seem to be all that enthralling to me and typically the acting turns out to be a real let down. So, to say I am less than delighted to hear that there are 75 comics being made into films as we speak is an understatement. As I look down the list, I recognize very few of the comics (again going back to me being “out of the game”). No doubt few will actually make it on the big screen, but I am sure that even fewer of those will be worth watching.

The fact is, in my opinion, movies in general just suck these days. Nothing comes out that makes me turn to Carrie and say, “Let’s go through the hassle setting aside a night and getting a babysitter so we can go to the theatre and pay $7/person to see that movie.” It never happens. I saw the “Lord of the Rings” Trilogy in the theatre, and Carrie likes to see the “Harry Potter” movies in the theatre. That’s it. Even after these movies come out on video, we don’t rent them. I am too busy and tired to sit through the drivel that passes for movies these days. I know there are exceptions, but by and large the plots show a lack of ingenuity, so producers try to make up for this deficiency with special effects or star power. Neither do it for me.

So I ask, “Can anyone give me a good reason why I should go to the theatre? Can anyone tell me why I should give my time and money to Hollywood anymore?” Because as it currently stands, I am pretty much done.

Wednesday, November 12, 2008

Soccer, The Unit & Other Shows

My weekend's soccer schedule didn't get off the best of starts as Arsenal beat Man Utd 2-1 in quite arguably the best game we have witnessed this season to date.

Arsenal obviously still reeling from their defeat to Stoke the previous weekend and the poor Champions League performance in midweek were well up for this game against the Champions of the English Premier League and European Champions.

It was a classic, Sir Alex called it "playground stuff" "you attack, we attack, you attack" it really was breathtaking at times.

My opinion at half time was "I can't believe we are 1-0 down" the scoreline didn't really reflect what i just witnessed..........................The game should of been 3-3 at half.

I expected United to come out blazing in the second half, but it was just the opposite.... well for 5 minutes at least as Nasri scored their second with some great build up play.

Enter United, they showed why they are the best attacking team in the world, they pounded Arsenal's back four, had our finishing been better we would of won the game.

Ronaldo had a great chance 30 seconds after Arsenal's second to put us right back in the game, but he fired inches wide and i mean inches.

United came forward with such pace it astonished even me... a die hard Red Devil, but our final pass or ultimate finish was very poor in front of goal.
Rooney himself in the first half on another day would be taking the game ball at half time due to the fact he should of scored 3.

In the end United scored in the 90th minute through the young Rafael DaSilva who in my mind is better than Neville and Brown combined, what an impact he made for only being on the field 15 minutes, he tore Clichy to bits and i think Gael is quality.

I am going to hold my hands up and agree with Sir Alex "if you're going to get beat it might as well be against someone that plays good football" that game was a classic, but disappointing to be on the losing end of it..... i really like Arsenal and Wenger to be honest i will be watching more of thier games.

As Liverpool and scabby Chelsea both won the gap is now 8 points with a game in hand for the Red Devils.
Liverpool, Chelsea and Arsenal still have to come to OT and take points of one another so to say its over for us is mindless and quite uttlerly stupid from some people.

Can United close the gap as Chelsea did last season? Who knows, but the news that Ronnie is signing a new contract is great news, the bad news is that Hargreaves is in Colorado having surgery by the world renowned Dr Steadman, he is out for the season as was Keane when he had knee issues, but he came back a stronger better player which i expect Owen to do also.

TV is great at the minute.........
24 season 7 is almost upon us with the 24 2 hour "redemption" special soon to air on the 23rd of this month i am excited to see what Jack has in store for us as this season is being billed as "the best 24 ever"..... we will see.

The Unit is hotting up, we are half way threw a 2 part special that sees Betsy Blaine (Jonas's daughter) kidnapped by Syrians. Colonel Ryan goes with the crew to rescue her, but Ryan has bigger problems in that Mac knows he had an affair with his wife. The punishment for breaking The Unit code of conduct is "death" will the rest of the team follow through on the code or will Ryan escape with his life......... watch Sunday 9pm CBS.

The Shield is just awesome, right now Macky has turned in his badge as he hunts for Shane, Travecki is on desk duty at The Barn and Corin has turned on Vic and is helping Dutch and Collette find Vic to put him away for good.
I love this show and i expect a few twists in the final 2 episodes, what is in store for Vic????

House is House, class personified enough said, i think this show would never get old in my book much like ER, but you have to bring Cameron, Chase and Foreman back into the team and fire the rest as they lack House esk persona. I am really looking forward to future episodes.

Thats all for me, i will be in Florida next week sunning it up so enjoy the cold, wet and snowy weather. I will bring you back a story or two.

Tuesday, November 11, 2008

football, movies, football, tv

Saturday I was treated to an interesting game between Alabama v LSU. I wouldn’t rate it as a classic. Only time will tell if the LSU QB matures into a solid performer or continues in a shame spiral resulting in a transfer or riding the bench as an upperclassman as the next great thing takes over.

Then it was off to BW3’s to watch Oklahoma St v Texas Tech. OSU just couldn’t keep up with Tech’s offense. I’m not sure anybody can. If Tech can beat OU, they can’t choke in the Big 12 Championship game.

The season is shaping up for an Alabama v Texas Tech championship game, although it’s way, way too early. My guess is that it will be Florida v Texas, which should be an awesome game.



Sunday I watched Vantage Point. Bear with me. I’ve never seen “24”, but I imagine that this would be similar. An agent outside the box who wins the day in an intense and unbelievable situation. I don’t know how Kiefer Sutherland sells it, but Dennis Quaid doesn’t. I’m trying to remember a movie he is actually good in. Hold on a sec, let me check imdb.com . . . Well I just realized I haven’t seen 90% of his movies. He was ok in Traffic and terrible in Any Given Sunday. And he’s in a GI Joe movie? How are they making a movie about that?

Anyway, back to Vantage Point. The movie starts and then rewinds 5 or 6 times, which was ok. Each perspective gave you more information and allowed you to fill in the gaps. I liked that.

****Spoiler alert****

Just when it was time for another rewind, they go on a 10 minute car chase. Like the one in the Matrix Reloaded, that just goes on and on and on. Quaid gets THREE times, including getting pinned between a garbage truck and a building, and yet he gets up and gets the bad guys. They spent way too much time on the car chase and not enough on the motivation of the terrorists or the background of characters.
****Spoiler alert over****

In the end, promising but terrible finish. As usual.



Soccer. Juve continued their revival. Now only three points off the lead. Inter is up in a couple of weeks. Unfortunately I don’t see the old soldiers keeping this up for the entire season. I imagine Juventus will fade after the new year.

United lost to Arsenal. Something is missing. Maybe United will make a run as they have done so many times this season, but I see Chelsea grinding out a title, with Liverpool trying to manufacture a winning mentality.

Barcelona. Just youtube their last 5 league games. Ridiculous. Sexy football of epic proportions.



Finally, I watched the entire series of The Job. Leary’s character and cast from Rescue Me, but set in a cop precinct instead of a firehouse. It was funny how one episode of The Job was based on Leary’s comedy routine from No Cure for Cancer re: cough syrup and alcoholics. The end of the series wanders into the extremely uncomfortable situations as his life spirals out of control. Imagine Larry David as a smoking, swearing, alcoholic adulterer in Curb Your Enthusiasm, and you’re getting close. If you haven’t seen Rescue Me, watch a couple of episodes of The Job to prepare yourself for the glory of Rescue Me. If you have seen Rescue Me, you have seen a better version of this show. You can definitely see the origin and direction of Leary’s vision, but it is executed so much better on Rescue Me.


Remember if women don’t find you handsome, they should at least handy.

Monday, November 10, 2008

Observations from the Election

The following are random thoughts that passed through my head some time during the election process:

I suppose I shouldn’t, but I really question why people voted for the various candidates. Leading up to the election and even after the election it seemed that people just wanted to talk about how “historic” it was going to be. And of course it is historic. But should that fact influence the way we vote? Should we vote for or against the McCain/Palin ticket because we want a woman in the White House or because we think she can reenergize the curmudgeonly Republican party? Should we vote for or against Obama because he is an African-American or because we think he can actually enact change in Washington?

It just seems to me that some people voted not based on credentials but based on physical characteristics. After Obama had preliminarily won, and people were interviewed, they seemed more excited to get an African-American in office rather than the candidate that most lined up with their political, social, and religious beliefs. Am I glad we have broken the race barrier on the highest level? Of course I am. But I wonder if Obama is the right guy to do it? Time will tell.


I am sick of Christians and sometimes wish they were seen and not heard. Leading up to the election I heard the following via interaction with church members, Facebook statuses, blog posts, and other information:
“If Obama gets elected it will be then end of the world.”
“Obama as president will inaugurate the last days.”
And on and on it went with these doom and gloom scenarios based on Obama getting elected. Then, the day after he was, it all changed to, “It’s okay. God is in control. God can bring good from bad. God has instituted the authorities. Blah blah.”
It just seems disingenuous and flip-floppy. Though appropriate for politics, I found it completely inappropriate for God’s people.

Then of course are the doomsday prophecies about what Obama will do in the next 4 years. Since he is apparently pro-abortion, anti-guns, and a socialist, the Religious Right are up in arms. Of course, last I checked Obama’s top 5 things to get accomplished don’t include killing babies, ruining hunting season, and instituting Marxism. He has a few bigger problems to deal with. So why don’t you all calm down at least for a year.

I also don’t understand how our democratic society has forgotten about checks and balances. From what I have heard it is like everyone thinks Obama can enact any change he wants without opposition. I am pretty sure we elected a president as opposed to a totalitarianistic dictator. He has to jump through the hoops too.

Speaking of systems, can someone tell me why California gets 55 Electoral College votes? I know it is based on California having the densest population, but it doesn’t deserve 20 more electoral votes especially when it is guaranteed to vote liberal every time. Basically, the democrats are already 1/5th of the way there each election. I say this not as a Republican, but as a middle independent who would like to see a fairer system.


All in all it was an interesting process. I went from thinking both candidates were great during the Primaries to thinking both were shams during the debates. Here’s to another four years of failed promises!

Saturday, November 8, 2008

Okay, so I'm a Wii-nie

My wife and I managed to get our hands on a Wii Fit this week, which I'm pretty excited about.  I'd been trying to pick one up from Best Buy or Gamestop, but they have been consistently selling out the same day the arrive.  I tried Amazon instead...they have been out of stock there as well, but they offer a service where you can get a text message when they arrive.  Sure enough, on Thursday I got a text, rushed to the website...and nothing.  Still out of stock.  Refresh.  Nothing.  Refresh.  Nothing.  Confused cursing.  Refresh.  Bingo! 

We got it the following day (yesterday), and I've now "played" with it twice, so here's the review:

First thing up, you get weighed in, which I was actually pleasantly surprised to find that I've lost about 10-15 pounds since starting my daily-ish walking routine.  It also calculates your BMI, gives you a balance test, and then assigns you a Wii Fit Age...mine was 41.  I am 29.  Not cool, you guys. 

Then you're in and you can chooose between four categories:  yoga, strength training, aerobics, and balance games.  Each category starts with a handful of activities you can choose from, with many more that need to be unlocked. In each activity you get rated in some way, most often for how well balanced you are.  It keeps track of your total amount of activity and you continue to unlock new activities or expanded versions of the activities, such as a longer track for running, more reps for the strength activities, etc. 

I'm excited for the opportunities the board provides--I'm a competitive person, and being able to be ranked and unlock activities is a good, compelling feature, and being weighed on a daily basis as part of the program I think will also help to keep me focused. 

The only downside that I can see is that at this point, at least, it doesn't seem that you can put together a workout with it, where you could string multiple activites back-to-back-to-back rather than having to every 2 minutes use the remote to pick the next activity...it's a little distracting. 

More on this later, I'm sure. 

Tuesday, November 4, 2008

Jekyll, Texas blows it, music reviews

So this weekend was pretty low impact. Watched some TV, played a little FIFA, hung out with Larry. Should have raked leaves and cleaned the gutters, but I can do a two for one next fall.



Saturday afternoon I finished the BBC mini-series “Jekyll”. After the first couple of shows, I was hooked. To be fair, the dialogue bordered on the completely absurd at times, which took away from a great story idea.
The show fades after a blistering beginning as a ridiculous conspiracy element takes over. The ending felt rushed and wasted. The last sequence reveals the missing piece for those of us too stupid to figure out and then . . . credits. As always, great idea, poor execution. Definitely sets up for a sequel at a later date.



Saturday night I watched Texas v Texas Tech. When I turned on the TV, it was 19-0 Tech and I thought, just my luck. So I was in and out of the game, and when Tech went up by 14 in the second half, I almost put in a movie. But I was a trooper and stayed with it. I was rewarded by dramatic idiocy. Texas scores to go ahead and then completely crapped their pants. Poor kickoff coverage, then they let Tech march down the field after they had been stopped in their tracks in the second half. As always, the prevent defense prevents you from winning. When the Texas defender dropped a sure interception, you knew the Longhorns were in trouble. To top it off, the Tech QB then throws a prayer to the sideline and all the defender has to do is knock the receiver out of bounds. God forbid he knocks the ball down. He makes some sort of pansy tackle that we would make in the backyard and Crabtree walks into the endzone. Game over. And what was the safety doing? Very frustrating. Yes, that is why college sports are so much better than pro. Scholarship athletes.



Music I’ve checked out:

Travis (The Invisible Band): The album title says it all. Most of it is pussy rock. Airy songs, falsetto voices. Not what I’m looking for.

VonBondies (Pawn Shoppe Heart): Fever, now that’s what I’m talking about. The rest of the album is ok, Kinda punky, which I’ve never been into, but like to dabble in from time to time.

Black Rebel Motorcycle Club (Take them On, On your own): decent album overall, probably better than Howl. They have this sound and they nail it.

Velvet Underground and Nico: Recently I’ve seen movies that have used their music, so I decided to give them a try. I already knew Heroin (Basketball Diaries) and Venus in Furs (Brick), but I really liked a track called I’m Waiting for the Man. Also Sunday Morning could easily fit into a movie like Little Miss Sunshine or Eternal Sunshine.



By next week, I hope to have finished The Job, a show Denis Leary did before Rescue Me. Also have more Travis on hold, as well as Woodstock 25th anniversary collection. Ta ta for now.

Monday, November 3, 2008

My Political Platform

JDs Halloween post kindled many thoughts in me. And in this time of voting and change being on the horizon, if I am accepted onto the Halloween Holiday Board I will take immediate action to improve our current situation. As I read over JD’s costume list, I noticed that it reflected much of what I saw from recent Halloweens - WEAK outfits. I remember my mom spending hours sewing up such classic costumes as Yoda and a California Raisin. It is like the parents aren't even trying anymore. Or maybe the kids don't have any imaginations or think that some costumes are too infantile, and thus unworthy. I saw one kid with normal clothes, some white face paint, and some red lines that I supposed were supposed to represent lacerations. I asked him what he was, and he just held out his basket and shrugged. Whatever the case, I think many have forgotten that looking cool is the reason for the season.

I understand that we don’t need to be flushing future college tuition down the drain just for a costume, but come on! Give me something. So I recommend putting more power into the hands of the candy giver. If the kids are just throwing on some shoddy costume just to get candy, then take their very incentive out of their baskets. If you don't approve of the costume (for whatever reason – crappy, no imagination, offensive, etc.) then you don’t hand out candy. It will only take a year or two of this system to increase costume thoughtfulness. Granted, you open yourself to a house and car egging later in the evening, but it is time to make people earn the individually wrapped candy we worked so hard to purchase.

I propose we candy be dolled out according to merit. This socialistic candy distribution to everyone is not working. It has removed any impetus for excelling. Seriously, should the beautifully adorned princess get the same amount of candy as the kid who threw on some work clothes? I ask you - are these the principles that founded America? I don't think so! So here is the breakdown of the candy distribution that makes sense and puts more candy in to the hands that deserve it:

Regular clothes/haphazardly thrown together costume - 0 Pieces
Costume with little imagination - 1 Piece
Costume that is thoughtful, just not over the top - 2 Pieces
Costume reflecting a parent with too much time - 3 Pieces
Costume straight out of Hollywood - 4 Pieces(or a King Size)

This is the year for change. So let’s begin with something near and dear to all of us. After all, if the effort displayed at Halloween is any indication of our economic status, then we are indeed in a crisis.

Saturday, November 1, 2008

3 Bags of Candy, 10 Trick-or-Treaters, and 1 Bad TV Show

So last night was the first Halloween for my wife and I in our house (last year we were in an apartment) and we were suitably excited for the glut of trick-or-treaters we were expecting.  So we bought candy, yes sir, yes sir, three bags full.  The Take Five bars didn't make it through the week (licking my lips at the memory of them) but otherwise we had a very full bowl of candy for the crowds of children that would be passing through.

It didn't occur to me, until the drive home last night, that we don't have a sidewalk on our side of the road, a rather-busy-for-Portland road.  Bummer.  So I worried we wouldn't get any t.o.t.s. and was proven correct, until 7:30, after which they came in a few small crowds.  We ended up with ten total.  Here's the list:

1) A somewhat dowdy princess
2) A tiiiiny little cop who struggled with the 2 front steps
3) An under-achieving pumpkin (just a pumpkin t-shirt--not even a jack-o-lantern)
4) A girl in greenface (zombie?  seasick?)
5) A weaponless ninja
6) A mongol-style barbarian, complete with pointy helmet and beard
7) A princess of a more gypsy persuasion
8) An infant in an MSU hat--is this a costume?  I think he was being pimped by mom for candy
9) A zombie-ape, I think...scary mask, fur, etc.
10) A mystical butterfly, pushing the upper limits of age-appropriateness for trick-or-treating

Presently struggling through another episode of True Blood, from HBO.  Seems like an interesting concept, vampires walk among us following the invention of a synthetic blood that they can drink, preventing their need to feed on humans or animals, and struggle as a minority group for mainstream acceptance, etc.  It just hasn't really worked for me yet--just occasional interest-piquing moments and then a LOT of bad acting.  I don't know if it's the Southern accent that's pulling everyone down, or the weak scripts, but it's rough!  Even William Sanderson, who was superb in Deadwood (perhaps the best television show ever) as E.B. Farnum, the hotel-owner and mayor, is just awful in this.  If you haven't watched it, just stay away, go rent Deadwood instead.