Friday 4:30pm

(this actual real dialogue that came about between my boss and I while discussing a time off request turned in by one of my staff and how I would go about handling it. This was the last day of my first week of work.)

Me: "So she wants 2 days around Thanksgiving and 2 days around Christmas."
Boss: "One way to handle this would be to bifurcate the request....Do you know what that means?"
Me: "No."
Boss: "Oh, you need to know this! This term is used a lot in legal circles!"
Me: "ok"
Boss: "It means to cut in half."
Me: "Ok, so what do you mean by bifurcate?"
Boss: "Just exactly like it sounds, if I took a machete and cut you right in half."
Me: "......ok....but what do you mean in regards to this request?"
Boss: "What do you think I mean?"
Me: "Cut her vacation time in half?"
Boss: "No, what is her request made of?"
Me: ".....paper?"
Boss: "No, it's made of two seperate requests. So you could split them up and decide upon them seperatly."
Me: "ok" (try not to roll my eyes and sigh)

This is about the time I gave up on trying to see the good in my boss. If you know me at all you know how hard conversing with this type of person is going to be for me. I like straight talk, not pop quizzes and he does that pretty much all the time. Here's how the same conversation could have been done at about 10 times the efficiency:

Me: "So she wants 2 days around Thanksgiving and 2 days around Christmas."
Boss: "You could always split the request up by dates and decide on them separately."
Me: "Ok."

Ta Da! I just made him into the best boss ever!

Truthfully, I really like the job so far and I really like 99% of everyone I work with. They seem to really have a good working relationship with one another and are very willing to help and explain things etc. If I have one prayer it is for my own self confidence. If I have more of that I know dealing with the 1% of people that have proven themselves to be arrogant and condescending will be a snap.

Life lessons

Just thought I'd put together a post regaling you of the things I have learned in recent days / weeks. Some things that everyone might need to know at one time or another.

How to make your electric lock for your car start working again - Alcohol. And for once, I'm not referring to the ingestion of it, but rather to it's actual practical uses. Not that you would want to ingest rubbing alcohol anyhow. I actually have two different electric lock thingys for my car (at the dealership, they called them "fobs", so I will now also call them fobs). So, two key fobs for my car. Both my primary and my backup stopped working at the same time, prompting my fears that the wiring in my car was screwed up. After four days of living in fear of a break-in or theft because I couldn't lock my car (I could, but I wouldn't be to get back in), and also changing out the watch-size batteries that the fobs use, I went to the Saturn dealership. Before sending me in for an estimate or ordering new fobs (at $50 apiece!!!), he cracked them open and cleaned off the computer chips in both with rubbing alcohol. Put them back together, and presto... they both work like a charm! Feeling foolish, I thanked him profusely and fled.

How to tell if it's time to kick Brandon off of your blog and take applications for new contributors - This one is easy. Just scroll through the list of posts and find the most recent one that Brandon has written. If it's July 23rd, it's time to kick him off the blog. Anyone out there interested in becoming our Wednesday contributor. I mean, I've missed 2, even 3 weeks in a row at one time or another, but this is ridiculous.

How to produce giddy tears at a national political convention - From what I've seen, all you really have to do is show up. I mean, I've only heard a couple of speeches this week, and they were all pretty good, but Joe Biden last night, while steady and reliable, is not the sort of speaker who evokes cries of joy and hope. But pan the camera around, and damn if half the people at the DNC this week aren't ready to just check into therapy, so overcome are they with this utopian experience in Denver.

How to get unreasonably excited about the Detroit Lions' upcoming season - Just watch the preseason games. You'll become convinced that the defense is coming together, the running game is going to work this year, that Marinelli's "kind of guys" are finally on the field. If you are able to somehow remember that such excitement IS, in fact, unreasonable, you just might come out of it still regarded as a levelheaded individual. But if delude yourself into thinking that this means the Lions are going to the playoffs this year, all you have to look forward to is disappointment and anger. Don't go down that road, my friend.

How to get all of your friends to make fun of you - Get a Blackberry phone. Furthermore, announce the presence of the Blackberry phone by linking it to your Facebook. Your friends will all quickly assume that you are spendthrift and frivolous, and that you think too highly of yourself than you ought. Apparently owning a phone that downloads email is some sort of status symbol that now means that I am Big Pimpin', a class of invididual who can no longer fraternize with non-Blackberry-using serfs. Actually, maybe this is true. I'll have to rethink my position.

English Premier League Season 2008/09 Week 1 & 2

Well the season is off and running and it seems as though Chelsea have put down the marker with a very impressive performance against Pompey followed by a typical 1-0 boring boring Chelsea win v Wigan, I anticipated a good start from the Blues and they delivered.

I watched the Man Utd v Newcastle game live with my good friend Austin and it wasn't at all pleasing. United looked very fit, passed the ball well, but were weak going forward, possibly the Ronaldo, Tevez absence was more noticeable than i thought it would be, but take nothing away from Newcastle they richly deserved their point, as notorious as United are for starting sluggish they have me worried.

As we visited Pompey on Monday evening i was very excited at the return of Tevez, but very worried that Anderson having flown from China and Olympic disappointment had arrived at 5am in Manchester and was in the starting line up......... could things really be that bad at United, to be truthful yes they are, with the likes of Possebon, DaSilva twins and Frazer Campbell on the bench all boasting a total of 5 EPL games combined my feeling is more panic than worry, after securing a 1-0 win i was a little relieved. Now onto Liverpool and Chelsea back to back and both away i might add, will the title be heading elsewhere this season?

Arsene Wenger, well let’s just say that if Arsenal continue to play that way all season with inexperienced youngsters we can expect a mid-table finish, I wasn’t impressed at all, young Nasri looks OK, but I feel the pressure will soon mount on Mr Wenger especially after their poor display and 1-0 defeat v Fulham, losing to a team that quite possibly will end up in the relegation battle this season once again is not championship material..... sorry Arsenal fans, but i feel you will finish outside the top 4 this year.... watch this space.

Liverpool looked wobbly which pleased me no end, i do wonder when they are going to get that Shankly/ Paisley form back or will they languish in at the bottom of the top 4 until they are taken over by a Russian with billions, their mid-week game in Europe was shocking, it reminded me of my U16g performance at the MCC tournament the weekend of August 16 & 17, painful to watch and i was praying for that loud sound of a shotgun being fired to awaken me from the nightmare that i was in.

Can they win the title is the question on every ones lips? the answer I'd put more money on the US Olympic relay team dropping the baton again then Liverpool winning the league.... sorry.

Well that’s the top 4 out of the way now for the rest, Sunderland wow, players that Keano seems to be bringing in is huge for that football club, it wouldn’t surprise me at all if Sunderland finish in the top 7 this season, candidate for the united job once Fergie goes… absolutely, the fans would certainly love it.

Pompey, Spurs and Villa will battle it our for UEFA cup spots again I think or maybe one of them can step into the big boys league and secure champions league football, to be honest I can see all 3 teams that came up going straight back down, but that’s for another blog.

Lets talk briefly about the Champions League, to be honest our squad (man utd) is tailor made for Europe, I can see us defending it all the way with flare and panache.

Liverpool will be there, obviously Chelsea and the "worlds best player" Ronaldo will see why staying at United is the right choice as Madrid will get knocked out early.

Arsenal will get dumped in last 16 which will please me although i do respect some of the football they play it is eye catching.

And for my prediction.................
Semi Finals: Inter Milan v Chelsea Manchester United v Liverpool
Final: Inter Milan 1 v 2 Manchester United

music items, Paris Hilton, Rome and the Olympics

I’ll start off with a couple of music notes:


If you've never heard of the band SLOAN, here's the NPR review of their latest album:


http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=93063594


Give them a listen and you won’t be disappointed.

slooooaan!!slooooaan!!slooooaan!!



Oasis, another favorite band of mine, has a new album coming out, but I’m wondering, is that a good thing? I love Oasis, don't get me wrong, but I don't want them to be my generation's rolling stones, putting out album after album, occasionally producing a song that's worth anything, slowly growing old and irrelevant. I think they should just fade into the background, and then in like 10 years, be used as reference point for the second British invasion. Let’s be fair, they had their time, and it was glorious, and now it’s over. Time to move on.



In case you didn’t hear Paris Hilton got a sex change. Trust me, I visit enough sites and receive enough information throughout the day to know whether that happened or not. So I don’t need an update in my junk mail folder from Mohammad Berry [enehpsog@31e.com]. Thanks, but no thanks.



I have the first season of Rome on hold of the library. I don’t much about the show (time period, actors, etc.), but I’ve heard that this is a pretty amazing show and I am interested to see how it is. So if there are any Rome fans out there, let me know what to expect.


Other than that, I will leave you with this gem from the Onion News Network in honor of the Olympics:

Olympic Overhaul

I watched a decent amount of Olympic coverage. My viewing time was limited to whatever NBC chose to air. But from what I saw, I have made up my mind that the Olympics have turned into a bunch of freaks competing in silly activities. Granted, many of the events have some merit, but many need to be removed from the Olympics because all they do is bring down the perceived prestige. For example, it is one thing for a person to walk away with a gold medal in something like the 100m dash. But then someone else has a gold medal for dancing in a pool? Really? These 2 events are worth the same amount? I don’t think so.

Therefore, I propose the removal of certain events from the Olympic Games. I am not sure I have specific criteria, but certain things just seem out of place. Where I have a good reason I have listed it.

Some events already have World Competitions in place
Soccer – Is the World Cup not sufficient to determine which country has the best soccer team?
Tennis – Every Grand Slam event is a competition between countries and they have the “Davis Cup” that pits countries against one another.
Basketball – Seriously, it is just a joke and a stroke for our ego. Like we don’t know that we have the best basketball players.


A fun thing to do but I doubt it is worthy to be an Olympic event
Kayaking, Sand Volleyball, Table Tennis

If we are going to include these events then I suggest we also include Chess, Scrabble, 4-Square, Ultimate Frisbee, Lawn Darts (Jarts) and Horseshoes.


Miscellaneous Out of place events
Synchronized Diving – Greg Louganis is no longer the gayest thing in diving (sorry, couldn’t pass it up).
Synchronized Swimming – As “beautiful” as some say it is, the event is still lame.
15 different rowing events
Trampoline – Seriously? Do I need to defend this choice?
Rhythmic Gymnastics – Glorified hula hoping should not get a gold medal.

You are welcome to disagree with me and add to the list as this is by no means comprehensive. There are plenty of awful events in the Olympics. In the end, I believe the experience would be more worthwhile if they dispensed with these silly exhibitions.

who is this michael phelps guy everyone keeps talking about?

So I have reignited my mancrush for Denis Leary. Started Season 4 of Rescue Me over the weekend, and what a great show. I would never want to be a fireman, but I do admire their camaraderie and loyalty to each other. The baby without a definitive father or name is a complete absurdity, yet is just another compelling aspect of the show. Watch this show.

I came to a startling realization this week. I can’t park. I’m not just talking parallel parking, but regular parking. I’m never right in the middle, my car is never straight, and I’m always too close to other cars. I can’t blame this on others; this one falls directly on me. So my mid year resolution is to improve my parking.

I added the high school I graduating from to my facebook account. A couple of people invited me, but I ignored them. I started looking up people from my graduation class and I didn’t even recognize most of them. Maybe in a future post, I will go into greater detail about my high school experience.

If you’re looking for podcasts to subscribe to, I would suggest the following:

60/20 Sports. James Carville and Tim Russert. Classic old fogey yelling down the impudent youngin. They have great guests and conversations. If you like sports at all, you’ll enjoy this.

Epic Fu. This is podcast from Revision 3 and explores weird stories and new technology. They also throw in music and media that they like. I’ve found a couple of new bands to explore from them. I will say that the host can be mildly annoying sometimes, but overall it’s decent.

Attack of the show. Snippets from the show on G4. They had interesting insights on The Dark Knight and each little segment is interesting, especially the ones on military technology.

Totally Rad Show. This is the next show I want to rip off/emulate. Movies, comics, TV, pop culture. The three hosts slice it and dice it. If anyone out there wants to take a stab at it, I’m in.

OK, that’s it. Now back to work.

Social Networking Experiment

It has taken me all this time, but I finally have a Facebook account. I resisted for a long time for many reasons. They are as follows:

First, I associated Facebook with MySpace. MySpace conjures up images of teenie boppers, pedophiles, and terrible HTML coding. It seemed like every MySpace page I go to is bright blue lettering on a fluorescent pink background with kids boasting about their exploits and crappy music making the page take 10 minutes to fully load even with a fast internet connection. That is not my idea of a good time. So, why bother with this new upstart Facebook?

Secondly, I don’t particularly like talking to people, even people with which I have had a previous relationship. So I hear of my peers (30 year old people I respect) saying, “I have to check my Facebook” and I thought, “How lame are you?” Their defense usually consisted of, “It is better than you think. I connected with a guy I knew in college. It is pretty cool.” I thought, “I don’t care about people from the past. If we haven’t kept up until now why bother starting again?”

But, with my recent move to Kentucky, I have become nostalgic and have felt the need to keep connected with my old Youth Group in Tennessee. And sure enough, I have reconnected with some people from college and even high school. I have made the following discoveries:

Despite all evidence to the contrary, Aaron Fritz is still alive.
Tom Flammer has a collection of Football cards worth $1310. ‘Nuff said.
Justin Mayes is not in jail unless they have online access in the penitentiary.

However, I have a few questions:

I am interested in the etiquette involved. If I ignore someone who has asked to be my friend, are they going to commit suicide? I mean really, if I found them annoying in college, why would I want to go down that road in the cyber world? Or do you just have everyone be your friend, even if you can’t remember who they are even though they went to your high school or college?

What’s the deal with being a super friend or top friend or whatever? Do I make that designation or does Facebook using some arbitrary formula?

Does anyone else find it bizarre that the little bit of information you give them connects you with long forgotten people?

Which is better – “write on wall” or “wall to wall”?

So, Facebook is not as lame as I thought. If you have any suggestions to how I can enjoy the experience even more, I am open to hearing them. See you online…friend.

Olympic chills

I know I forgot my post this week (well, I'll be honest and say that I didn't "forget"), but as I was watching the men's basketball this morning from Beijing, I saw this commercial for the first time and I just had to share it. It gave me chills. Unlike our Friday poster, who is obviously unpatriotic and hates America, I love the Olympics. Watch this full-screen if your video card is capable. It's that good.

"Olympics: It's Late and I'm Tired"

I'm having a hard time coming up with a catchy title to my post this week. If you're reading this you know what the title is but as I'm writing this I'm still throwing ideas around in my head.

"Olympic Spirit"...unoriginal
"Olympics: The Big Fail"...hmmm
"Olympics: Oh the Humanity!"...That ones pretty good.

I used to love the Olympics just like every good American is taught to by the Olympic Sponsors and their emotionally manipulative marketing. On a side note, "I've got soul but I'm not a soldier" Nike ads, are they Olympic themed or are they protesting the war in Iraq? Maybe they can recycle them when the new Iraq government declares war on the US for refusing to pull out.

"Olympics: We're Not Naked Anymore"...No?

Anywho, as a young girl I liked the gymnastics, of course. And in the winter I liked the figure skating, of course. It all seemed so innocent back in the day. You rooted for the US and you sang along to the Star Spangled Banner whenever someone won a gold and you felt good to be an American and that's about it. Nowadays, somewhere between the steroids and the human rights violations and the tests to see if women really are women, something feels very wrong with the Olympics.

"Olympics: 90% Losers"...seems acurate
"Olympics: Like a Trainwreck"...too much imagery

And I really mean it, Olympics to me are kinda like a trainwreck. You don't want to watch, but you can't look away. Part of that is the early childhood training. You MUST watch! It is unamerican not to watch the Olympics! You are a terrorist if you don't watch! Russia will nuke us if you look away!

But to be completely honest, I don't want to watch. Because with every race, every game, every competition, there is only one winner, and a crap load of losers. And it's not enough that you get to go to China to lose, you get to lose in front of the entire world. Yeah for you! Take this for example, for every perfect performance there are hundreds more imperfect performances, and for every imperfect performance there are a hundred cameras to catch it and broadcast it to the world so that one day your grandchildren can see you fall on your butt on Youtube.

"Olympics: Trying Is What's Important"

The thing is I feel bad for everyone who has to endure that kind of scrutiny. I know they worked there whole lives to get to the Olympics, I know that they have endured countless failures that have allowed them to get this far and become some of the best in the world. But what do you get? In the end, unless you leave with a little metal medallion around your neck, you get to go home and watch replays of that time you landed on your head. I just don't like it. As much as I want to share in the victories, I don't want to be part of the gawkers and onlookers and critics when I know well and good that their talents, even when they fail, are far beyond my small ability to bike 4 blocks without throwing up.

I want there to be a little private room for athletes to go in when they mess up and in that room is blanket in which they wrap their entire head and face so they can scream and pretend like that didn't just happen. Just like the blanket I have at home. It's blue and has sheep on it.

And yes, I know the Olympics are full of moments that every American can be proud of. Michael Phelps has yet to disappoint. But for even that I feel bad for him. Americans don't look at him the way they looked at him in Athens. Then, he was an American striving for a goal. Now he's the hero who must maintain the status quo at all costs. Then, we Americans were hugely proud of him just for qualifying for so many events and cheering wildly that he did so well. Now, we Americans would be down right ashamed of him should he dare bring home a *gasp* Silver! I'm not saying I want to see Michael Phelps fail, but maybe in our attitudes and our scrutiny, we fail our athletes.

Supposing Michael Phelps did bring home a silver. Would it really matter anymore that he has more olympic hardware than anyone at anytime? Or would that silver be the one issue that reporter after reporter, interviewer after interviewer, journalist after journalist just had to rub in his face. How many times would he be asked if he felt disappointed in his silver? And how many times do you think he would hear about how proud his country is of him?

So yes, I hate watching the Olympics. As much as my heart yearns to share in the victory of moments like this, or as much as I appreciate the compassion and integrity that goes into moments like this, it is hard when so much of it is tainted by things like this, and it's hard when I have to wade through the scandals and all the rest of the bull crap. And then there's the almost constant accidents and failures by hard working athletes. I just can't endure the heartbreak.

So farewell Olympics. I shall miss your tiny gymnasts and strangly proportioned female weight lifters. I will miss your overly dramatic opening ceremonies, and your rare but poiniant victories by sheer human integrity. I will have to catch those magic moments in 30 second spots on Youtube.

movies, articles and my dream job

Let’s start with the two movies I watched over the weekend.

First was “Following”, which was Christopher Nolan’s earliest efforts. This was my first viewing of this in several years. I don’t remember liking it that much before and this time around, I thought, I like it but . . . The film is sort of a low rent Spanish Prisoner. Whereas the Spanish Prisoner totally does a bait and switch at the end, Following reveals the mystery throughout. In Spanish Prisoner, I cared for the main character, but in the Following I had a hard time caring for “The Young Man.” Possibly because he was a dead on representation of myself about 10 years ago, ie a poor, deadbeat, wannabe writer. So Following is good but the ending is only a mild surprise rather than the gut wrenching ending of Spanish Prisoner. See it as a platform for Memento.

Then I watched There Will Be Blood. I have to agree with Tom that I’m not sure what happened. Was I supposed to be rooting for or against the main character? I think the evolution of the character was there. Imagine Daniel Plainview skulking around the huge mansion with the bile building up inside of him. Then Eli shows up to provide him an outlet. Other than that, it was just a profile of an “American Hero”, you know part of the American mythos of someone who pulls themselves up by the bootstaps, works hard and with a little bit of luck and timing, hits it big.

I will say the music was really really annoying. Like West Wing annoying for those who can use it as a reference point. It overpowered some moments. I almost think the movie could have had no music, but there’s no way that was going to happen. The poor music was a huge surprise because Anderson’s previous movies use it so well. Maybe someone can speak to that aspect of the movie.

Was this THE movie of 2007? I sure hope not. It was ok but not 4 star, talk to everyone in the world about it. But what do I know?

I do know that you have to check out these articles.

Ohio inmate claims he's too fat for execution
http://www.usatoday.com/news/nation/2008-08-04-ohio-execution_N.htm?csp=34


The Life of the Top Guitar-Hero Player In The World
http://www.nytimes.com/2008/08/10/arts/television/10itzk.html?ex=1375934400&en=dd1917d8bdefe36a&ei=5124&partner=digg&exprod=digg


Only in America. Seriously, I’m not for the death penalty, but you killed someone in a state where that punishment is on the books. You should have thought about that ahead of time. And if it’s going to cause you more pain because you’re fat, then a) lose weight in preparation or b) deal with it. And you gotta give it up for someone who can get famous for playing a video game that simulates being a musician. Thousands and thousands of bands looking to be the next big thing, playing gigs at proms and weddings and dark, crappy bars while staying true to their vision of music, and this kid just plays a video game and passes them all. I suppose the next game should be Paint Hero, and we could create the next pseudo Van Gogh or Picasso. Imagine.

Finally, I have finally found my true vocation. No, it’s not the new coach of the LA Galaxy or quality control at Krispy Kreme, it’s being the official reader of the Digg.com RSS feed. If I could be paid just to see where all of those articles would take me, I could probably be somewhat happy. Crazy pics, hilarious articles, up to date tech news (that I don’t understand) and occasional true and relevant facts. How great would that be? I’m looking for an online application after work tonight.

Well the English Premier League starts this weekend, so get ready for another thrilling installment, where doing well in the “regular season” is actually rewarded.

Behind the Times

I have always been up on pop culture. I watch shows on MTV and VH1 like “Rock of Love,” Flavor of Love,” “I Love New York,” etc. I listen to new music even though it sucks so badly. I watch “The Soup” and “Best Week Ever.” I am not obsessed, but I like to know what is going on especially when working with youth.

So, like I said, I have always been up on the culture…until recently. When we moved, we gave up cable as a way to cut down on expenses. So, this past week Carrie and I were flipping through the Networks to find something and we landed on the “Teen Choice Awards” on FOX. First of all, I heard Hannah Montana was hosting them. But I say Miley Cyrus. Carrie informed me that they were the same person, but one was a Disney persona.

Then there were all sorts of awards for actors of whom I had never heard. Granted, the only movies I have seen I the theatre for the last 10 years have been the “Lord of the Rings,” “Harry Potter,” and “Star Wars.” And, I haven’t rented a video since 2004 just before Elijah was born. But when these actors came up representing movies I had never heard of, I felt waaaaay out of the loop.

Then they had the questions with “Jonas Brothers.” The girls screamed like they were the Backstreet Boys. I had heard of them, but never seen them and never heard their songs. So I listened to some online. Really? This is what all the gushing is about? Not to sound like an old curmudgeon, but seriously. There is no hope for our youth.

I guess for at least the next few years my pursuit of pop culture will have to take a back seat to real life. Or, I will get my information from my middle schoolers. If that happens I will be dumber to be sure.

Diplomacy

As we close in on the final months of political maneuvering for "You Decide 2008", both of the presidential candidates are doing their best to present to you their plans for foreign policy. Obviously in such an unstable global climate such as we have today, and the growing global distaste for our beloved country, it is a crucial time for us to elect a President with diplomacy skills.

Both candidates will obviously keep their most personal views of our international comrades very close to heart. If they do harbor any personal rancor towards any other countries or their leadership, it would be disastrous to allow that to enter into the public eye. Which is why what I am about to reveal to you could be the new hot issue of this political season.

I have had it passed to me, through a variety of back channels and some skilled hacking on the internets, a certain map. This map displays not one, but BOTH candidates' current assessment of our global neighbors, and its contents are shocking indeed! I caution you to reveal to no one where you received this information, but just be aware of what type of future worldwide ties you could be voting into office this November.

The map is at this link:
http://www.clemslansing.com/images/theworld.jpg

The Dark Knight: a review and ideas for the future

Saw The Dark Knight in IMAX last Friday night. And was left wanting. And I don’t know why. Maybe I was expecting perfection and it didn’t quite hit the high notes.

Anyway, a couple of points about this film and the franchisee going forward.

Joker. AWESOME. Imagine The Killing Joke coming to life. Imagine the crazy Joker of the Dark Knight Returns in the flesh. Amazing. Without spoiling the movie for any one who hasn’t seen, I will just leave it as, if you love this villain of Batman, you will enjoy this.

Two Face. SPOILER!!! At first I was pissed that they killed him, until I started talking to people who said, “Did you see the body?” It does leave it open for a possible comeback. I think they could explore the character a little more and possibly have a movie where in Two Face is involved in the criminal underground and Batman/Bruce Wayne has to appeal to his good side. Aaron Eckhart was a great choice and was better than I could have hoped.

Batman. Decent. In the background of the film actually which worked for me. The voice is annoying but what are you going to do. I read an article this morning that said that not only does Bale change his voice, but then it is further modulated to create this weird growling almost indecipherable pitch.

Whatever score you give to the movie and extra half point must be added on for the death of Rachel Dawes. UGH!!! Enough. Get out. The next movie must be absent of a love interest.

As for the future of the Batman movies, a couple of ideas:

Two Face sequel. It’s possible. Don’t think it’s the best option because they will have to undo the heroic Harvey Dent angle to pull it off. Batman, now on the run, will have to save Gotham from Dent/Two-Face and thereby be reinstated as the hero.

Next Villian. Could be Riddler. If so, I think they would have to follow lead of the Animated Series and make him a sort of a nerdish, accountant who will not get physically involved. Penguin. Not too excited about that. I mean his main weapon is an umbrella. What does excite me is Zsasz or the Ventriloquist or Anarchy. Anarchy would have less of an impact because of Joker’s role in the last film. I’m not sure that the Ventriloquist could be pulled off but I’m not as familiar with his character. But imagine Zsasz. A serial killer on the loose in Gotham. Get Batman in touch with his detective side, which hasn’t really been explored.

My favorite idea is a Joker, Ra’s Al Guhl, Batman movie. Imagine Ra’s trying to reshape Gotham complicated by the agent of chaos while both are fighting Batman. I think there are some great dynamics as the each character would be constantly shifting allegiances. But Austin, Heath Ledger is dead. Not a problem. Let’s say they make the next Batman in about 3 years, then bring Joker back in the one after that. Find a new actor who plays a Joker that has been further deformed in Arkham. He gets out and we go from there. As for Ra’s, he was killed in Batman Begins. Again, not a problem. The Lazarus Pit. Imagine what CGI could do with a Lazarus Pit, and this is a key aspect of the character. You don’t even need Liam Neeson. Have a body go and a younger, more ripped version comes out and off we go.

Anyway getting back to my original sentence about IMAX. I sort of wish I had seen in the regular theater first, taken in the movie and then been blown away by the IMAX experience in the second viewing. There was so much going on and IMAX scenes were so mind blowing that I couldn’t keep up.

Well that’s about it on the latest installment. I hope they can keep this up. If they can deliver this caliber of performance down the line, this is going to be a rockin’ franchisee. It can’t go down. It can’t go the way of Burton/Schumacher. I’ve got to get started on my screen play for Batman 4 or is it Batman 9?

Kayaking and the Art of Marriage Maintenance...

Time for some explanations. So, I'm in the process of trying to find something uber professional to wear not only to an interview on Tuesday but also out to dinner with my interviewers Monday night. So the one semi professional outfit I own just isn't going to cut it. I spent all Friday combing through all the decent shops in Folsom for a suit that isn't made of wool (since it's averaging 98 around here) and wasn't made for a 50 year old lady. Oh, that also it has to be cheap. This takes a lot of time and energy and when I finally got home (after finding a $80 suit at 75% off) I just didn't feel like typing the preceeding blog which I've had in my head since last Sunday. Sorry for pushing your update into oblivioun Austin.

Anywho, Kayaking and the Art of Marriage Maintenance:

Last Sunday was our 6th anniversary. We decided to try something new (and cheap) to celebrate. We went kayaking on the American River/Lake Natoma/Negro Bar area which is very near to our place. Neither one of us has ever kayaked before but we're not afraid of water or getting wet and it's not like there is rapids or even fast moving water anywhere near where we were playing at kayaking.

We, being the highly intellegent people we are, decided to kayak upriver first so that the end of the trip would be easier and we would know about when we needed to turn around and head back. I was in front, Ben was behind and our goal at this point was to get to the part of the river that flows past Folsom Prison. You can tell where this happens because there is a sign saying something to the affect that you cannot go any further without perhaps being shot dead by a prison guard.

It was really a perfect day to be out on the lake, sunny, a little bit hot, but that's what you want if you are going to be getting wet anyway. We figured things out pretty quickly but there was lots of zigzagging around the lake and a little knocking paddles together as we rowed out of sync.

There are large boulders sticking out of the middle of the river. Coming back we were having a tough time going straight to get around this particularly large boulder. We kept going sideways straight towards the boulder. Finally we realized this was happening because I was trying to go one way around the boulder while he was fighting to go the other way.

And although we started out looking silly, bumping paddles together, excessive splashing, and zigzagging around the lake, by the end we had such a good rhythm going that other kayakers said we looked like professionals.

And about that time it struck me that a particular metaphor was making itself very obvious. Married life can be a lot like kayaking. In so saying, if you're not going down the same path you're going to turn sideways and smash up against a huge boulder. If you're not watching what you're doing, you might bean your partner in the head with a paddle. You have to work extra hard going up stream, but it makes you enjoy the down stream that much more. And if you go past the sign, someone might shoot you in the head. Well, that last part might be a stretch to fit the metaphor but you know what I mean.

We both understood that neither one of us had kayaked before, this made us a lot more understanding when it took a little longer to get from one point to the next and we made the extra effort to communicate and work together. It's funny to me that we don't think of this more in our day to day lives. Have either of us been married before? Why do I expect him to know what he's doing? Or he me? Why do we assume we're on the same page when we haven't talked it through? Why do we get so mad when the other does not meet our expectations, we're in this together aren't we? And why don't we expect to enjoy ourselves and our time together every day instead of on special occasions?

Not that I believe Ben and I have serious problems. For the most part I do believe we enjoy spending time together, work well together and if not we work it out together. I can count the serious arguements we've had on one hand. And I believe even in those arguements we have both tried to be respectful and truly listen. It's something I'm pretty proud of.

I think part of getting by is seeing each moment for what it is. This is a time to work hard, this is a time to sit down and communiate, this is a time to focus on what's ahead, this is a time to sit back and relax. this is a time to power through. We waste so much of what's happening now or shold be happening now dredging up what happened back there or what if things had happened differently. We lose perspective on what we're doing and where we're trying to get to.

I think everyone should try kayaking once, and see what it has to teach about life in general to those who are willing to listen and learn. We're going to do it again and soon... But more because it's fun than for life lessons.

back in michigan (this post is rated PG)

i really wanted this post to be R rated because i have some strong feelings on a couple of issues , but i know we have some new readers. so i'll try to play nice nice.

last week i was in mississippi, where it was really, really, really hot. 110 heat index.

other than the heat, it was nice. family, great food, hanging out. i am already dreading going back to work. sure i took a week off, which means i will have twice as much as work when i get back, thus negating the rest of the vacation. oh, america, how i love you.

anyway, a couple of quick things before my normal tuesday post.

BATMAN rules. superman is a wimp. oh look at me, i come from a foreign planet and am powered by your yellow sun. i love your american values and will fight all aliens, hostile nations, whatever else comes up. whatever.

characters like batman and punisher are tangible. yes they use outrageous weapons that take military access or god awful amounts of money, but it is possible. remember the battle van? tell me that couldn't really happen. hell sam and i could've made the long family van into a crime fighting machine if we had wanted.

stem cell/cord blood/etc. i have no idea. so i'll stay away from that one.

okay, i'll be back on tuesday, if i can pull myself away from work.

There's Always Music

Once again, I have totally missed my day and am now encroaching on Crystal's territory. Hopefully she will be so angry that she and Ben will drive back across the country to reprimand me personally.

Nothing extraordinarily deep to discuss today like stem cells or Ben Brown. I've been enjoying my Netflix entertainment after my first week... I figured if I rent at least 4 discs a month, I've broken even on what I would have spent on rentals. I started out with the first season of The Wire, and even though it's taking a little bit of time to get going, I'm sure I'm going to enjoy it as much as everyone thought I would.

I also rented "There Will Be Blood", the multiple-Oscar nominee from last year starting Daniel Day Lewis. The real name attraction for me with that movie, though, was the director, Paul Thomas Anderson. He doesn't make a living churning out as many Hollywood pictures as he can - this is only his 3rd movie in the last 9 years. But what strikes me the most about his movies is the way he CONSTANTLY uses music to set the scenes.

I mean, through the whole movie. When I first saw Magnolia (his 1999 film), I heard the music during different parts of the movie, and you naturally assume that it's building toward something, or that this is an especially dramatic scene for you to pay attention to. You've been conditioned to watch and understand movies that way. But after a little while, you realize that it doesn't stop. There's ALWAYS background music, and it adds to each scene in the movie while totally keeping you on your toes. You can no longer wait for the dramatic increase in music volume or pitch to tell you "Hey, you need to watch this", or to feel emotion.

So back to TWBB. Daniel Day Lewis was totally brilliant. My only problem with the movie was that when it was over, I couldn't decide if I had just seen a narrative that was presented strictly for the story's sake, or if there was something else I was supposed to come away with. An obvious theme by the end was the destructive ability of money and power, but I didn't feel that it was really driven home enough. The main character didn't seem to evolve into the monster he became at the end, but the transformation was almost instantaneous as they jumped from one part of his life to another point 20 years later. Sherman, if you're out there, I'd love to hear your thoughts.

In other news, for those of you who haven't heard, I've finally been able to poke my head out of the comic book shop and dip my toe into somebody else's pool. I'll be running the campaign for the "presumptive nominee" for the county's Register of Deeds. Mostly organizing all of his volunteers, mailings, door-to-door efforts, lawn sign placements, and other miscellaneous stuff, like driving his car in a parade this weekend. It's only part time (like I said, it's just a county job), but I'm anxious to see what it might lead me into after the elections this fall.

One other interesting note along those lines: if you live in Lansing, you might be surprised to hear that Barack Obama will be visiting next Monday. They haven't officially announced the time or place, but it looks like it should be the Lansing Center, a quick two block walk from my store. I'm going to try to check it out.