The American Dream

It's my turn again? I know I'm the one that
picked Friday because it's my day off and
I could make sure to get it done without having
work interference. But for some reason on fridays
my body and mind work about 70% slower than they do
on a work day.

Anyway, every so often I try to come up with
interesting things I could sell on ebay to make a
couple extra bucks. I think about the piece of toast
with the face of Jesus and the grampas haunted cane
that have sold for ignoramus amounts of money. Why
can't I sell something like that? First, you have to
have something like that. What do I have that people
could possibly want? That's when I came up with the
perfect idea.

I'd like to sell my vote.

Yeah, you heard me. I'm going to sell one perfectly
legal American presidential vote. Somebody must want
an extra right? This is America, what's more American
than greed? Heck, I'm not using it, never have
(yeah, you heard me) I have never voted, until this
idea came up, I never had any intention to. However,
cash might be incentive enough to get me moving.

Of course, I have a feeling it might be a little bit
illegal to sell my vote, which in my mind is silly
since people sell their votes for measly promises.
Hillary is making a spanking off immigrants who are
hoping she will make it easier to get citizenship.
Everyone is hoping to get something out of their
vote, like a better America. But since I am not
that foolish, Just give me cash!

So I might have to sell something else like....
The Opportunity to Persuade Me To Vote For the
Candidate Of Your Choice With The Clear Understanding
That I Am Easily Swayed.

The winner would be allowed to email me, call me,
invite the candidate of their choice to my house to
meet with me. As long as I don't believe your candidate
is the devil incarnate, I'll probably vote for them.
Because in the end, I'm just disillusioned enough to
understand that no candidate really gives a rats flatus
about a middle class white 20 year old, nobody is making
promises to me.

I'm not an immigrant, I'm not a baby boomer, I'm not
interested in marrying someone of the same sex,
I have no real opinion about Iraq, and I am not in
need of health insurance or anymore education. I'm
not worried about my freedom and I'm not really worried
about my safety, I'm not worried that they'll outsource
my library, and sadly I don't really care if psychological
torture is still torture.

In the end, I'd like a president to work towards
alternative energy, cleaner environment, secure
economy. You don't have to be a democrat, republican,
liberal, right wing, fundamentalist, or a compassionate
conservative. You just have to be a president who cares
more about the job than about the politics, about getting
something done instead of playing the game.

Ah, but in the end we all must put away the childish
things. And since my dream president simply doesn't exist,
just give me cash and I'll vote for your dude. Heck, give
me cash and I'll pretend I still believe in Santa.