Let's Have A Party

Despite a broad base of support and his own marketing blimp (yes, a blimp), Ron Paul is hearing a lot of conversation these days about how he should run for President in 2008 on an independent ticket. Yes, another modern-day Ross Perot has entered our midst, and although Mr.Paul is thus far resisting such talk, mistakenly believing that he can actually win the Republican nomination, it seems inevitable that we will have a big-name 3rd party candidate yet again. If it's not Paul, rumblings are that it might be Michael Bloomberg.

Either way, the idea that any candidate outside the two-party system could win the White House is a fantasy. Granted, an attractive fantasy - can you imagine the diplomacy that would be forced to take place with a two-party Congress and a third-party President? - but a fantasy nonetheless. Our country hasn't had an "independent" Prez since George Washington, and that was only because the parties hadn't formed yet (He eventually went Federalist, the commie!).

No, my friends, the only way to get some traction here is for us to come up with a new political party that we can use to push out one of the existing political parties. Heretofore, I am accepting suggestions for a name for our new party that will march American history in a bold new direction! It may take us many decades to acquire the prominence we will need to become one of the top two vote-getters, but once we're there, we'll be able to polarize, dicker and deal, and play the traditional give-and-take with the other suriving party, to continue to accomplish the glorious nothingness that already works so handily in Washington.

Who's with me? I know one place I can start - I'll just buy Crystal's vote.

And of course, a post like this about American political parties just wouldn't carry the same weight without the immortal words of the Monty Python troupe: