Phoning It In

I realize that it is late at night, and that technically the time has past for me to submit this blog. I realize that.

That is why I am phoning it in.

Here is my half-assed post. It's what I write when I finally realize how unimportant this really is to me. It's what I do when I realize that I dread writing this blog when it seems like I have nothing to write about.

I phone it in when I think that it doesn't really matter to those receiving it; or when I think I have better things to do. I phone it in when my favorite TV show is on or when the playoffs are on.

I phone it in when I have homework and when Halo 3 is calling. I phone it in because, to me, phoning it in is better than just skipping. I don't know how it is better, it just is.

I phone it in because writing requires effort, which I am running low on. I like writing. I love writing. Sometimes the stress of HAVING to write cramps creativity. However, if I didn't HAVE to write, then I probably wouldn't.

The question is, if I didn't write, would it matter to anyone but me?



Getting back to the "Cultural Taproom": I made BLACK AND TANS tonight. I had to look it up on Wikipedia, but I still had to make it. Apparently I was making it incorrectly.

Here's what you do: You need a decent ale glass (1 pt), preferably one slightly rounded at the top. You pour half the glass slowly and smoothly with Bass premium lager, (or Harp if you want a true Irish Black & Tan).

Then, you pour Guinness over a spoon (round-side up) into the glass very slowly, so that it cascades over the edge of the spoon like a fountain. There are actually Black & Tan specific spoons you can purchase, but it seems like it would be a waste of money unless somehow the spoon made for better separation of the two beers.

This is a great way to introduce yourself to Guinness if you are not into it yet, because it lightens it up a bit and reduces some of the bitterness of stout beers.

As I am phoning this in, I am enjoying my second Black & Tan. Talk To You Later. Buh Bye!

quickie

Short and sweet, because I have to get going to watch the second leg of Manchester United and Barcelona.

Watched 16 Blocks this weekend. Interesting idea that absolutely failed miserably. On and on and on with unbelievable action and plot twists. The character that Mos Def played probably had the most annoying voice EVER.

House returned last night. I admit I’m not that bright so when every one is double crossing and faking out everyone, it gets pretty confusing. I’m hoping to have time to read the review at politedissent.com tomorrow, so I can figure out exactly what happened. However, the show was entertaining and I’m interested to see what they do with the characters to finish the season.

Hopefully I’ll have more to comment on next week.

That's Hardcore, Baby!

So the college I attend is nestled in the foothills of Gilroy, CA.  Those foothills happen to be natural mountain lion habitat.  I was a little shocked the first time I drove onto campus to see "caution: mountain lions" signs everywhere.  Apparently it's not unusual if you're on campus early in the morning to see some of the suckers walking around the campus.  It's so relatively common, in fact, that the teachers give students tips on how to avoid mountain lion attacks.  We learn little gems such as the following:

• Appear larger.  Raise your arms, open your jacket, and speak in a firm, loud voice to convince the lion you are not prey.  Throw stones or branches, but don't crouch or turn your back.
• Fight back.  Try to remain standing and facing the attacking animal.  Many victims have successfully fended off an attack using rocks, jackets, garden tools, and their bare hands.

Wow.  What do you say to that?  It's like, I could be on my way to the cafeteria for lunch and I could get mauled.  I could be doing research in the library and I could get mauled.  I could be taking a test and I could get mauled.  I go to school in a place where you might be attacked by a vicious wild animal at any given time and your best bet for survival is to go mano e mano with a ferocious attacking lion.  That's hardcore, baby!  California rocks!

I got into an argument with Tom last night about television. How he and many others can watch so much of it and then REWATCH it on DVD is beyond absurd to me. I would rather watch movies, which (to me) are more thoughtful, deliberate, and provocative.

People who make television dramas are usually people who would like to work in movies but aren't good enough to do so. They are usually people who USED to be sought-after movie actors whose careers are seeking revitalization in the TV business just to get some regular work. It is junior varsity.

Granted, there have been improvements in television and there even have been some great television shows, but with the expansion of networks and television programming, the overwhelming majority of things on television are pure crap.

And watching crap makes me feel stupid. And I hate feeling stupid.
Movies have more permanence. Nobody is going to remember "that one episode of House" ten years from now. Nobody is going to care about most of the LAW & ORDER or CSI spin-offs. People remember movies. Movies make characters that resonate with people and change their lives.

The only thing that ever brought me to tears on television was when Hulk Hogan lost the belt to King Kong Bundy. I was eleven and I hid it from the rest of my family.

Movies dig deeper. They say more in less time. They tell truths in new ways. They have the ability to do things that TV shows CANT do, like wild stunts, expensive CGI, and incredible feats of artistry that people in television wish they had the opportunity to do in the movies.

Most of what I see in television is a reflection of what I see in the movies, an attempt to capture in a small square box what I saw in cinematic color and splendor.

Of course, with the advancement of HDTV even total crap shows like CSI Miami look good. I can't help but glance in on the show when I flip through the channels because it looks so awesome in HD. Watch these three clips and you will see what I am talking about.






Twin Peaks Season 2 comes out on DVD soon. That one I will watch, because it was ground-breaking. It is because of that show that great shows like The X-files, Lost, Six Feet Under, Heroes and countless others even exist.

This led me to think that there are other shows that were good, too. But the sea of crap is so deep, that finding a morsel of food that isn't covered in poop is nearly impossible.

So, I came up with a list of shows that I thought were worth watching.
1. Twin Peaks. The thing that made this TV show so groundbreaking and cool was that it was made by a real filmmaker. A movie guy that made TV shows. He was really the first of his kind. It was short-lived but it ended where crap-shows like Lost should have--with an ending to the story.
2. Dark Angel. James Cameron's venture into television with new starlet, Jessical Alba. The action was great and she was smokin hot. It was futuristic and dark. Awesome
3. 24 (season 1 only) It was ground-breaking and awesome at the time. But, just like any other cash-cow, it was played up over and over again until it lost its flavor.
4. The Wire (HBO). Here was a great show that showed the underbelly of life in the inner-city. Whether you liked it or not it really showed you how real life is for these kids in these gangs and how life is for drug-addicts and how politicians and police play a big part in all of it.
5. The Sopranos. Even though I never got totally into it, I appreciated the originality of the characters in this kind of story, the relationship the main character had with his therapist, and all the dynamics of the family life of the mobster.
6. The X-Files. Yes, David Duchovney and Gillian Anderson are making a second movie! Thanks to the hole left in our hearts after Twin Peaks ended the X-files made another quirky FBI investigations show that made us "WANT TO BELIEVE" that "THE TRUTH IS OUT THERE!"
7. Law and Order: Criminal Intent (only. none of the other versions of the show and only seasons with Vincent Donofrio). This show featured an incredible actor playing a likable character who viewed crimes from a different angle.
8. The Office. A docucomedy that made me gut-laugh. It explores the office, the politics and relationships involved in the business environment. It really exploits every quirk and frustration that is involved with working with other people.
9. South Park. The cartoon with balls. It took everything that was good about the Simpsons (irreverant social commentary, cultural criticisms, etc.) and gave it teeth. What was great about this show was how popular actors and artists would try to get guest parts on the show (George Clooney who played the dog) would also get destroyed by the show on a regular basis.
10. The Chapelle Show. This was so funny to me because it made fun of modern racism. It also ended when the creator felt like it was off track.


Then I also have a list of modern shows that have promise but I just haven't had time to watch.
Jericho
Pushing Up Daisies
Dexter

TV has the advantage that it reaches more people much more cheaply but in the end it is mostly drivel that keeps you awake and disengaged from your mind just long enough to get you to bed without killing yourself.

bumper stickers and other issues

I’ve found another thing I’m not good at: graphic designer. My new life plan is to eliminate the things I’m not good at, thereby revealing the things that I am good at. On average, I’ve got another 43 years, and with the medical advances, I’ve got plenty of time to discover my strengths before plug is pulled. I know that isn’t legally binding, but I want all of our loyal readers out there to understand that I want the DNR order strictly followed. Once I’m under, I stay under. Move on.

So my latest project has been bumper stickers on facebook. I had a couple from work related adventures and am branching out to some soccer ones. I have some good ideas but run into problems formatting so that they can be seen on facebook. Anyway it’s a nice diversion from work and we’ll see what happens.

I’ve created a Morrissey on Pandora. Love it. Brings back a lot of memories of high school and my failed attempt at college. New Order, the Cure, the Smiths, Depeche Mode. So good and depressing and pretentious and wonderful. Listening to it makes me long for rainy days and unrequited love and loneliness. Man, weren’t those the days?

After watching West Wing, and being tremendously annoyed by the background music, I know that I wouldn’t last 10 minutes in that environment. Snap decisions, constantly changing scenarios, hammering out deals through polite and not so polite confrontation. It’s fun to watch because I am not like a single character on that show. There was some great dialogue on that show that was overshadowed by the MUSIC and sometimes by the show saying look at us. Look at our agenda. What are you going to do? It’s a show about politics, so the politics of the producers and writers will come through. Last night there was a bait and switch on the Supreme Court nominee. I would have like to have seen that drawn out, but we’ve only got 44 minutes.

This weekend is Chelsea and Manchester United at the Bridge. A UTD result and the title is all but theirs. I’m hoping to find somewhere to watch it as this is the closet title chase since the Treble. And don’t forget we’re only 6.5 weeks from Euro 2008. Woohoo!!

Eli Stone

I'm going to post in Dan's place today because he just got his computer back and he's not going to have time to post tonight. Also, because I missed another Thursday.

This post will be ridiculed by Brandon because it will not be pointed social commentary, but rather just rambling opinions of my own that will not require much forethought but likely illicit more comments. I don't care. Moving on....

One of my favorite shows of the 2007-2008 TV season was Eli Stone. It was a midseason replacement that aired on ABC on Thursday nights, hoping to catch a bit of the bump from Lost and then carry on due to its own merits. I'll get to my other picks for favorite new shows later.

I welcome the opinions of any of you who watched this 13-episode season, or maybe just a few of them. I personally loved it. I feel that the writing was a little more snappy earlier in the season than later, and that the first few episodes were a little more fun than the last few, but as a whole, I really want to see it back. I think this is because they were building towards their season climax, and the show slowly lent itself more to the dramatic than the comedic.... and that's fine with me, as long as they don't forget what made the show so much fun in the beginning.

I was introduced to the show, actually, by one of the writers. His name is Marc Guggenheim, and he is actually a very accomplished comic-book writer. He often pops in on some message boards frequented by retailers and publishers to talk about various projects, and he alerted us to this show's pilot when it first aired. I wanted to be supportive, so I watched. I was really impressed with how much they were able to directly talk about spirtuality... not Christianity directly, really not even indirectly, but the more abstract way they talked about spirituality seemed relevant to me regardless.

The show had pretty steady ratings throughout the first 7 or 8 episodes... good, but not great ratings. It started to tail a little bit towards the end, so they moved the second-to-last episode behind Desperate Housewives one week, where it got a substantial bump, and then the season finale, back in its original slot, was back to just passable. So nobody knows whether it's going to make the cut for next year.

If you're like me, however, and you enjoyed the show, there are a few ways to make your voice heard to ABC. You can email your thoughts directly to the network at this link, and there are several online petitions that will surely at least be noticed by the suits at each of the below links:

Petition 1 -- Petition 2 -- Petition 3

As for my other picks from the 07-08 (while abbreviated) TV season, my only 2 keepers from the first half, that are both coming back later this year, were "Chuck" and "Pushing Daisies". Daisies was so Burton-like, combining the light and airy humor with a morbid undertone that it was just spooky. From the fall / midseasons, I really enjoyed the "Sarah Connor Chronicles", the Terminator show that is supposed to take place between the end of T2 and this next movie that they're working on. Apparently T3 is now just completely written out of the Terminator continuity. Non-official word on the street is that the Chronicles have been picked up by Fox for Season 2.

What shows did I miss that you liked?

The Whole Gender Thing...

So I attended the GLCC Women's Spring Banquet last night. Not something I'm overly excited about doing every year and usually I attend because someone has reminded me that it's happening after I've thrown away the letter without looking at it. The two main reasons I attend are to 1-hang out with people I don't see very often and 2- to eat food I didn't have to make myself.

Everything was good, the food, the people, the overall program. I wouldn't say it was more than good because the whole idea of hanging out with only women has never really been my idea of a good time. I don't know what other women think but from my adult interactions with my own gender I've noticed I don't seem to have the natural "connection" that so many women seem to have with each other.

Let me explain, last nights speaker was mostly talking about how we're all "princesses" and we all want to be princesses, and all of our parents always told us we were princesses etc etc etc. But to be honest, no one ever called me a princess, I never thought of myself as a princess, I never wanted to be a princess. The only concession I make to this is that early in my college career I decided the Prince William was really hot and, if ever the chance arose, I would date him but I wouldn't marry him because who wants that kind of pressure.

Then she had us stand up and touch people and say things with a southern accent like "Sugah, you look betta than evah!" which I simply refuse to do. She also told some jokes which were almost funny but not quite because women, especially Christian women, are way too polite to really say it like it is. And I'm sure she had a point that spoke poignently to women and made them feel like someone really truly understands them, but not me.

I don't have or worry about my kids, I don't worry about my looks, I'd like to lose a few pounds but I'm not losing sleep over it. I'm not worried about my relationship with my husband. I'm not stressed about the pressures that are put on women today, I'm not menopausal, I'm not overworked and under appreciated (I do as little as possible and I'm glad no one seems to notice). I'm not any of the things that seem to bring women together and unite them as one. All of these things seeming to be low self esteem, stress, worry, overachievement, and chocolate.

For the most part I just don't care for the kinds of things girls want to do and talk about when they get together. And let me tell you what those things are:

1) Things to complain about
-men
-children
-weight
-housecleaning

2) Things to talk about
-sewing projects
-scrap booking
-children
-diets
-other people
-housecleaning

3) Things to do
-party games
-talk
-sell something (candles, makeup, jewelry, etc)

Things I like to do at a get together

1) Things to complain about
-my job
-how, when I'm walking my dog, she only likes to poop if people are watching us.

2) Things to talk about
-movies
-tv
-anything as long as I can make fun of it

3) Things to do
-go out to eat
-play polker or other non-party games
-drink
-go to movies
-watch you tube videos

I just never connect with those gender stereotypes that both men and women love to throw out there. Mens stereotypes of women are ignorant and womens stereotypes of women are just pathetic. If this is how women see themselves and other women, can we really blame men for the stereotypes they've come up with? Why do we fall victim to the cliche?

If you like to scrapbook or diet that's great, but do it for yourself not because it's expected of you. If you like to sell things at parties and play party games, do it, but not because that's what everyone else is doing. If you think your unhealthy then excersize and eat better, but don't starve yourself to look like some magazines idea of what women should look like. If you fall under the stereotype of the middle-age, fat, overworked, underappreciated mother/marter then it's up to you to do something about it. Don't blame men or children, it's your life, go out there and fix it until you like it and you've gained your self-respect back and stop caring so much about what a woman is supposed to be like. If I cared that much I would be a miserable wreck because I'm the furthest you can get from the uber-woman without being a lesbian.

You Tube or Porn

Lewis Black has a new TV Show, "Root of All Evil" where he presides over a debate between two comedians who are on every other failed show on Comedy Central. They take two cultural phenomena and debate which one is more evil. The particular episode I watched was mildly entertaining because it pitted You Tube vs. porn immediately following the South Park episode featuring "YooToob".

The debate was interesting but you could tell there was an agenda. The arguments against youtube were presented rather well and the arguments against porn were less than half-hearted and tongue-in-cheek.

Eventually YouTube lost and was awarded as more evil than porn. I guess I could say that there are elements of YouTube that are more evil than porn, but not most of it.

This display of drunken "little people" is one of the most hilarious and disturbing things I've ever seen.



But for the most part, at least You Tube is clean, even if it lends itself to casual observation of awful moments in people's lives.

But I have to find this commercial to send my brother. The Comcast digital voice commercial featuring an awkward conversation with a brother. It is too funny and appropriate, so if you could find it send it to me.

In my searches I found this one that will tickle you comic book fans. Enjoy.

watch the special one and some movies

If you haven’t seen the Jose Puppet, please follow this link:
http://www.setantanorthamerica.com/special_one.aspx

One of my favorite lines is, “Thanks for doing it to me on the email.” Anyway check it out, especially if you follow English soccer.

Moving on, watched several movies this weekend.

Stranger than Fiction. Will Farrell is surprisingly good, while Maggie Gyllenhaal gives a decent performance, similar to her supporting yet influential role in Criminal. How great is Dustin Hoffman? His role as professor was great and reminded me a lot of his role in Wag the Dog. He was good in Outbreak, which I really enjoyed the first time I saw it. I watched it again a couple of years later and almost threw up. Back on topic . . . The story was very interesting. Sort of Adaptation meets Being John Malkovich. I liked all of the little animations at the beginning but they disappeared through long stretches of the movie. Maybe I got used to them. The ending sort of dragged and while the tension of whether the main character would live or die was nice, just let me know so I can move with my day.

Inside Man. Let me preface this by saying that I watched the movie in two parts. Maybe a comprehensive viewing would have changed my opinion.

My opinion. Could have been great, but just petered out into nothing. Great bank robbery heist idea. Get that. But the whole subplot about what was in the box was annoying. And then we didn’t really have any closure. Who was the bad guy? The banker or bank robber? Were the bank robber’s actions acceptable because he was shining light on the banker’s sketchy history? I mean the banker is about to die. You tarnish his image. Well done. Who cares?

I felt like I was being double crossed every five seconds. Was Jodie Foster really a high priced mover and shaker who was in on the whole thing? Denzel’s IA subplot was ok, but then he just magically gets a raise and the issue goes away? Deals made, promises made, threats made. And then at the end, Denzel gets a diamond and we’re done. Where was Clive Owen telling his story? Jail? The compound he built with the diamonds he stole?

The movie could have been better.

Last night was West Wing night. I’ve said it once and I’ll say it again, the score for this show is god awful. The title music is terrible, the music telling me how to feel is too overpowering. I know it’s a critical moment. I know that character so and so is telling me something that is insightful into the psyche of the country. I know that the President character is tough but has a good heart. This is a smart show, so I don’t need a crescendo of violins that is way too loud to tell me how to feel.

So a stand in congressman doesn’t have an agenda? Are you telling this is how things ought to be or you making an indictment on the current batch of reps who are in it for the money and power and will do anything to stay in power?

I’m trying to imagine Chelsea Clinton in a bar without protection. Don’t think so. But Barlett’s argument re: the necessity of protection was quite powerful. Really made me think about horrors that could really happen to the President and his family.

Finally, playing poker with the President. Really? “I’ll see you leader of the free world and raise you an insignificant amount of money.” Shouldn’t the rake from one of these games go to pay off the debt and replenish social security or something?

Be Champions!!

How to make friends and influence people...

One of the most worrisome but not oft talked about issues with moving away from the city and friends we have known for 10 years is the idea of making new friends. Not only do our old (aka "golden") friends set a high bar for any perspective future friends, but being relativly introverted means making friends can be even more diffcult than normal. I think I'm a little "friend-making" challenged, I just don't know what I'm supposed to do.

"Be open and honest with people". I think that's a horrible idea! I've tried it a couple times and most people said that the first time they met me I scared them. There's plenty of stuff peope don't really want to know about me, not even the friends I already have. "Hi, my name is Crystal and ignorant people bug me. How are you doing today?" Yeah, that one just really perks'em right up! Or my favorite, "I do my best thinking in the bathroom."
Or:

"I think it's funny when my dog snores."
"I get bored when people talk about themselves."
"I like to read books, but I don't really like to discuss them."
"I love shoes."

And where exactly am I supposed to meet people to be open and honest with? In the grocery store? Walking down the street? At restaurants? So I'm in the produce aisle and I see a guy checking out the tomatoes and I'm supposed to be like, "I make my own salsa!". Or when I'm walking down the street and see someone power walking passed me I can shout out to them, "I have a dog and she's real cute!". Or maybe at a stop light I can just roll down my window and say, "I bought this car from an old guy who died!". Why didn't I think of this before! I'm going to be swimming in friends!

This however, is not how I've made friends in the past. Not like I've made a ga-zillion friends. The last friend I made by inviting her over for a movie and then locking us both out of my house at 2 in the morning so that she was forced to offer me a place to spend the night until my husband got home with a key. I might just stick with that option, it's worked so well for me.

"Just be yourself". Yeah, great...if you like yourself. I personally am not very impressed with myself. Who wants to be friends with someone who would much rather read than try to come up with conversation that is bound to be boring? Who wants to hang out with a person who is either too quiet or too loud, doesn't like sports or politics, couldn't care less about the weather, doesn't have any hobbies, has either no opinions or far too many opinions, is easily bored with games or gets too competetive, and has no basic interests that can be shared in a group setting. I think we all understand that some people really shouldn't just be themselves, some people should try to be other people.

"Learn to listen". I've done this before. I've been very careing and listened a lot and not said anything. This seems to attract the clingy, needy, and self absorbed. Or just plain weird. I've had people who talk and the more they talk and don't get a response the more bizaare they get, and suddenly they're talking to you about being able to turn street lights on and off with their mind when they get in 'the mood'. And to be completely honest, I don't just want friends, I want cool friends.

Here are some ideas I have put together which I think are way better than those silly little sayings that your mom cross stiched and hung in your bedroom.

"Be a hero". Everyone likes a hero. If you've saved someone from accident or near death, they'll be your friend forever. I suggesting tripping someone accidentally on purpose and then catching them before they fall. Then, when they thank you profusely you can be very humble and most people like that a lot. If that doesn't work, the next time you see them you can push them in front of a car and then push them out of the way sacrificing your body for their safety. This has to work although it may make you dead.

"Stalk 'em if you like 'em". For this you have to be a little bit sneaky because you don't want to get caught. Getting caught makes enemies, not friends. Stalking means you need to find out everything they like, and don't like, and all the people they hang out with. Then, when you 'meet accidentally' you like everything and everyone they do. This works because most people are in love with themselves and will immediatly like anyone who is exactly like them. This is hard, however, because it means trying to find someone cool enough to be worth stalking.

"Be cool and mysterious". This works but you have to find the perfect balance of both cool and mysterious. I am very mysterious but it's often hard for me to be cool, that makes people not want to get to know me. If you're cool but not mysterious, sooner or later people are going to figure out that you're not that cool. To be both cool and mysterious the best thing to do normally is to lie. Say something like, "It's so hard to date famous men. The last one I dated got shot", when they ask questions, refuse to talk about it.

"Kidnap". The accidental kidnapping has been a proven friend maker in my time. This can be done by locking yourself or someone else out of their home. I also think this would work great in an elevator. You could accidentally spill your Big-chug on all of the buttons. Then you've got plenty of time to meet and greet while waiting for the rescue team to arrive. It works even better if the elevator does not get good reception, then people cannot ignore you by talking on the phone the whole time. Take advantage of the whole situation, remember firemen can be friends too!

Personally, I have not found very many people that are worthy of being kidnapped or almost killed. Plus, I just don't have the energy for most of these ideas. To be honest, as I move on to new places and new things, I'm going to stick with the old saying "If you want a friend, be a friend". It's a good saying and it actually helps me to remember it when I'm dealing with new people. To keep in mind that I need to be the person I most want to befriend. Someone funny, kind, and outgoing. I can't expect people to come find me so I have to go find them. I have to be the one to say "Hey, let's go get something to eat" or "Do you bowl?" or "Do you need help with that?" I have to keep my eyes open for the opportunities that present themselves. It's hard, it's not always fun, and it's not always worth it. But, if out of 100 tries, I get 1 genuine friend, then I think I'll be ok.

The True Meaning of Easter

I have missed two weeks' worth of posting. You can give me all the vitriol you want about it... I deserve it. However, I am going to go forward with the post that I wanted to do two weeks ago, because I still think it's funny. Even if it's now out of season.

Many Christians are offended or otherwise inflamed by products or parodies of sacred Christian elements. I am not one of those; oftentimes they are pretty funny, and if we spend our lives trying to defend our favorite Christian stories or customs from the encroachment of secularism, there will be little time left for the actual practice of faith.

That debate is one for another post, or perhaps the comments. Instead, I here present my favorite re-creations of the Passover by DaVinci.

SOLVING THE PROBLEM OF HALO FOR PACIFISTS, COMMUNISTS, AND WIMPS

I love ESPN. I love how they pass off all male entertainment as SPORTS! It started with the whole Texas Hold'em craze and it is flowing over into other areas. I've heard on sports radio channels here in Detroit shows about home improvement and auto repair. Sports Illustrated has been putting out a totally non-sporty Swimsuit issue for years and one sports channel in particular does shows from a strip club here in Detroit (classy).

Since they already have us locked in and tuned in they just want to show us whatever we want. One ESPN channel only plays sports movies. Not even real sports, just movies about sports.

ESPN is the new MTV, for men. I am convinced that MTV is strictly marketed to middle school girls.

What set me off on this topic was when Flammer visited last week he showed me ESPN'S TOP 10 MLG HALO HIGHLIGHTS. It was a top ten highlight reel just like on Sports Center, only with exceptional plays in the VIDEO GAME.



It raised some questions (and some eyebrows) about what exactly is a sport?
According to Wikipedia (the source of all knowledge) "Sport is an activity that is governed by a set of rules or customs and often engaged in competitively. Sports commonly refer to activities where the physical capabilities of the competitor are the sole or primary determiner of the outcome (winning or losing), but the term is also used to include activities such as mind sports (Card games, chess) and motor sports where mental acuity or equipment quality are major factors."

According to this definition, card games (Hold'em) and motor sports are actually sports. And, by this definition, Halo 3 (are you ready for this guys?) is a legitimate sport. At first I was skeptical, but my deep desire to be more athletic is almost satiated by my prowess at the controls.

The game itself plays a lot like most of the sports I've ever played. Each team works together to achieve an objective and when you achieve the desired outcome you taunt your opponent and believe me, they are colorful!

What I love most is how this argument will rankle the anti-video game pundits. The fact that this is a competitive sport and not just wanton blood and gore should satisfy some of the questions asked. It is not a justification for all video games but most for sure.

Oh and by the way, April 15th Bungie releases the new Map Pack. Here's the trailer.

review and comment

As always, where do I start?

I finished No Country for Old Men. Very weird writing style. Fragments, stream of concisousness, local vernacular and accents. It alternates between the sheriff’s commentary and the narrative. However there is some great dialogue about the state of the world and the nature of guilt.

I’m not sure if reading the book made the movie better or if I would have enjoyed it anyway. Javier Bardem is awesome. The movie strips away some of the meandering of the book, which is ok, except at the end. The ending is definitely a whimper rather than a bang in both the book and film. After the buildout up I can see how the finish would be disappointing, but after the reading the book and having it reinforced by the movie, I thoroughly enjoyed it. The story is not really about the Chigurh and Moss. The story is about the sheriff, how he has lived his life, how he sees the world going to hell in a handbasket, and how one can live in such in a world. The story of money, drugs and violence is merely a snippet of the real world and the sheriff is trying to navigate his way through all of it, while dragging around a huge cinderblock of guilt and confusion behind him, which is revealed in the book. All in all, a movie well worth your time.

This weekend was the Final Four. I was in and out of both games, so didn’t invest a lot of time. The best part of the KU/UNC game was when Billy Packer, with the score 40-12 to Kansas, said, “This game is over.” Fair enough. Then I’m going to bed. Thanks Billy. Turns out I missed a furious comeback, that made the game interesting for a while, but in the end KU pulled away again.

The game last night was amazing. I hadn’t seen KU all season until the Final Four, but their defense was incredible. I thought the UNC game was a fluke, but no. Memphis’ free throws cost them. And it cost me seven cents on centsports. I have to say, I was pretty confident with a nine point lead with just under two minutes to go. And then the bottom fell out. Once it went to OT, there was only going to be one winner. Not me.

In my travels on the internet, I have come across a couple of websites.

First, is radaronline.com. Sort of a pop culture catchall. They have this great popularity index, the Fame-O-Meter, that has a series of algorithms to figure who is the most popular person in a bunch of categories. It is fun to skim, and the explanation of How It Works is pretty funny.

Also I’m trying to figure out Rhapsody. So far it seems to be in-between Pandora and iTunes. I fooled around with it yesterday and wasn’t that impressed. I suppose if I coughed up the $12.99/$14.99 I might find it more interesting, but that’s not happening anytime soon. As I understand it, you can listen for free to any song, any time, but you only get 25 of those per month. You can listen to their channels for free all day, but you can’t really skip ahead. That sucks. So if there any Rhapsody users out there, tell me why I should give this a chance.

That’s all I’ve got. By the way, is there some sort of election going on? There’s this annoying buzzing in my ears that I can’t get rid of.

Go West Coast Young Man...

So, unofficially, looks like we'll be moving to Cali. We won't know officially until tuesday. I don't know if I'm allowed to call it Cali yet, nor do I know if I actually want to call it Cali. I think it's a California thing to shorten everything, like governator, brangelina, tomcat. I wonder if we will be Benstal or Cren.

I wonder if everything I've heard about California is true. I wonder if it truly never rains in southern California? I wonder if everyone really should try living in Northern California and leave before it makes us soft? I don't know if I want to live in Beverly Hills and roll like a celebrity. And I've never ever been California dreaming nor do I plan on visiting San Fransisco with flowers in my hair. And why are California cows so much happier? Everything media has ever taught me leads me to believe all Californians do these things.

I also don't own a bikini body and never have. I don't get tan, I'm not blonde, I don't do botox and all of my body parts are the ones God gave me. I'm not liberal, I don't recognize designers by sight nor do I wear designer labels. I don't like tofu or sushi. I can't speak Valley. I'm not up on my reality television, I don't surf or rollerblade, I never show my midrift. I don't smile constantly and I don't care enough about celebrity gossip to actually spread or listen to it. I don't care to experiment with alternate religions. I don't hug trees. I HATE Birkenstocks, crocs, and ugs.

I'm not a fast paced person, I don't need a lot of outside goings on to keep me happy. I don't even like going out that much. And by "out" I mean out to parties etc, but I also mean just outside my house. There are bugs outside and sometimes it's wet. Are there bugs in California? I've never heard anything about them.

There are earthquakes in California. I don't know how to prepare for an earthquake! Do I open windows? Go down to the cellar? Jump up and down? Do I need powdered milk?

And wildfires! Do I need to water my house in case of wildfires? Do I need to collect rain in barrels against drought? Do I need an electric car? What if there's a volcano in the middle of the city! I'm not an aspiring actress or writer! I'm freaking out! I need to calm down! Why did it have to be California! I HATE CALIFORNIA! I'm going to die...

I need a drink.

The Race Race Stinks

In 2008, the campaign for the Democratic party nomination for president has been charged with energy, public interest, scandal and sensationalism. As a moderate conservative I never really cared much for the discussions for the Democratic Party and never paid much heed. With the writer's strike and apparently a surplus of time on my hands, I've found myself drawn to the discussion.

The thing is what I've found in this debate between Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama is that I've been misled. I thought that the Democratic Party was supposed to be more socially conscious, liberal, and racially sensitive. However, I've found the discussions on this topic to be anything but true.

Hillary Clinton is quietly playing the race card, never condemning Obama for being black, but taking advantage of every situation where her whiteness benefits her. Insidious in the way she condemns states for opposing Obama because of his ethnicity, such as the states of Ohio and Indiana, all the while campaigning heavily there because she needs those white-prejudiced votes.

Also the issue of Obama and his reverse-racist pastor blaming white Americans for 911 etc. Obama's response was that the man was his pastor and not his political advisor. This means one of two things about Obama has to be true. 1. That he himself is a reverse-racist or 2. His religious affiliation is facetious and not really that important to him. The thing is when you attend a church for any period of time, you are endorsing the man who leads them, at least in the world I live in. He did not condemn the speeches at the time they were given.

So what you have here in this progressive and socially conscious party is what is so degenerate and blatantly backward is the white candidate taking advantage of the issue of race in order to win a campaign and a black candidate who is associated with a reverse-racist pastor but denies any influence that his pastor may have on him, indicating that his Christian faith really has no influence on him either.

So which deceit is worse? The white person's false piety in regards to racial equality speech or the black person's false religious convictions or reverse-racism?

I used to like Pizza Hut Pizza. Before I went to college, it was my favorite choice. then I worked there for two years during college. I cooked and prepared the pizzas for one year then I delivered them from my car for one year. Eventually, my car smelled like Pizza Hut Pizza. My clothes (even non-uniform ones) would smell of pizza hut. To this day it is repulsive to me. I can smell the difference between a Pizza Hut Pizza and any other and the smell turns my stomach. Since Pizza Hut, I've moved on to sales. The thing is that when you are in sales long enough, you get used to giving pitches. You are constantly presenting something that your boss wants you to say. You get to slinging so much bullshit that you can smell bullshit before most other people do. And the democratic race reeks of it.

I was just starting to think that race was a thing of the past, that the whole black-white issue was an old paradigm that most people have worked through.
But here it is, the heart of this campaign. Coming from the wrong side of the fence that separates Democrats from Republicans. And that just stinks.

4.1.08 (no april fools' day derived material to follow)

Where to start? How about Michigan State basketball allowing me to go to bed early Friday night, since they absolutely sucked and were down by 30 at halftime. My dreams thank you.

This weekend I watched Election. If you haven’t seen it and are feeling a little snarky, go rent it. Reese Witherspoon is naively evil as Tracy Flick and Matthew Broderick is surprisingly pathetic as Mr. M. Chris Klein is painful to watch Paul. PAINFUL. The only other thing I’ve seen him in is American Pie and he played a similar character with slightly more depth, but how did that guy get into films. I will say that the epilogue goes on for a little bit, but other than that, a fun little movie.

This weekend I witnessed, not live of course, the destruction of Aston Villa by Manchester United. Truly fantasy soccer. You can’t believe that any team can play like that. Then I watched Barca throw it all away against Real Betis. The game and the league went down the tubes. How they will beat Schalke over two legs is beyond me. They are mentally frail and they end this season with nothing, when they had a chance at everything.

Last night we watched more of the West Wing. The shows that are issue driven are far more enjoyable than the human interest, touchy feely ones. Tom says that season one is building towards a much better season 2. We shall see.

I’m over halfway with No Country for Old Men. It’s a blend of the writing of Faulkner and the book A Simple Plan, with a little 100 Bullets thrown in. It’s interesting but I’m not sure what ending will satisfy me. I’m getting a little worried about that because if I don’t like the ending, then, based on reviews of the movie, I won’t like the movie.

Other than that, I finally won my first bet on centsports. Very exciting. I actually picked an NCAA game correctly but forgot to hit the place bet button. Then I followed up with Louisville/UNC game. I got the o/u right but not the spread. GRRR!!! Then I picked the Lakers to cover against the Wizards, and of course I missed that by one point. But last night the Hawks come through for me. Onwards and upwards.

Remember: Pick Flick.