Who is Craig and Why Does He Like Lists?

Most of you have probably heard of Craigslist. It's a free classifieds website where you can post stuff. What stuff? Any stuff.

I like it because it's local. eBay has the search local feature but you can never find anything. It keeps things manageable and orderly. There's a page for the Lansing area (link above) that I peruse regularly (at least 4 times) every day waiting for that oh-so-special-whatever that's ridiculously under priced. I mean where else could you buy one of these for 50 bucks? I mean you'd probably never use it, but what a great deal!

I could spend myself into oblivion on CL just for the deals. So... Very... Tempting...

I was curious to find out how it works so I did what any rational Internet using fellow would do. I looked it up on Wikipedia (another of the 7 wonders of the Internet, oh Wikipedia the hours I have willingly sacrificed at your semi-accurate knowledge altar!). I was intrigued so I figured I'd pass on the useless knowledge.

Turns out that CL is actually, first and foremost, a Job board. This is how they make their cash. There are about 10 cities where they actually charge a few bucks for each job posting. Everything else in every other city is free. The whole thing is run by 24 guys (disclaimer: there's probably women, 'guys' here is generic) in a house in San Fran. They get 9 billion page views per month and refuse to allow advertising on the site (for now). The founder of the site (Craig) still works in customer service working hard to kill off the spammers (not them literally, just their craft) that sometimes spoil the fun.

Their CEO is described on the CL website as "Possibly the only CEO ever described as anti-establishment, a communist, and a socialistic anarchist..." Sounds like my type of guy!

So next time you need a new blender or a free sofa, hit up the CL site for your particular locale and try not to blow your wad.

P.S. I'd stay clear of the personals, the discussion forums, and several sections under the 'services' category. Not good things. And watch out for scams. CL is local for a reason. Always deal face to face and never send money to have something shipped to you.

Adventures in Commuting and Insights into the Spiritual Life of One Particular Commuter

I am, for the time being, a commuter. I have been for the past year and a half. Not so much because I really really like commuting. Not even so much because I really really like my job because I don't. And certainly not because I like commuting 2 hours every day to the 3rd most crime riddled city in America. I commute because they were the only ones willing to pay me.

So considering I've been doing it for a year I guess I should count myself blessed that I have not experienced a lot in the way of commuting related problems such as...oh, I don't know...black ice.

Oh wait, yeah I just did that yesterday!

Yesterday on my way to work at 8 in the morning I decided to get off the highway half way and get myself a coffee and, well heck, donuts go so great with coffee anyway. So there I am headed onto the exit ramp to my unoffical regular Dunkin Donuts stop.

The roads had not been bad, they were a little wet but I didn't see any cars in the ditch, everyone was going just as fast as they normally do and it wasn't all that cold out. So when I hit my breaks on the exit ramp I didn't expect to start sliding around.

Nor did I expect to slide all the way off the road, up a hill, back down a hill, and find myself stopped facing the forementioned exit ramp. And since my car was still running and I was already poised to resume my trip. I just got right back on and took myself to the forementioned Dunkin Donuts (although I no longer needed to cofee since I was high on adrenaline).

I parked and checked my car out expecting quite a bit more damage than I found. A little dent from hitting one of those refelector stick thingys, A little scrap from who knows what, a lot of grass evenly spread over my car, one edge of the front fender is no longer attached correctly. But I have to say that I believe I was blessed by God to not have anything worse happen.

I called my husband when I got back on the highway to let him know that we should probably get the car checked out and I found that my turn signals are not currently working (we haven't figured that one out just yet). So he came to Flint in the afternoon to take exchange cars with me so he could take a look at it. Considering we have to drive to Illinois tomorrow night and his car is not the favorite to take on long trips, I really hope everything is fine.

Looking back on the event, I'm really dissapointed with my internal monologue. I was always hoping I was the type of person to see disaster and turn to my Lord and Saviour and offer my soul up to His mercy, instead I found mtho have to call a tow truck, I can't afford a new car, and how and I going to tell my husband I just ruined a car!"

I figure this is because I don't always think to pray about little matters, therefore why would I pray about the big ones? However, I am happy to inform you that I neither screamed nor swore. I'm sure I was shocked mute but still...

So, I suppose this kind of thing happens to everyone once in a while, I really hope this is the first and last time for me. After the initial shock wears off, during which I function on auto pilot while my brain shuts down and reboots, I have a tendency to shake and giggle and cry all at the same time. It makes for rather humorous phone conversations with your husband: "Are you alright?"

"Yeah (giggle giggle sob)".

"Are you sure? Do you want to come home?"

"I'm ok (sob shake) I'll be fine in a little bit (giggle sob shake sob)"

The Return of KITT Sans the Hoff

Well here we go on the 'everything old is new again' train. NBC has decided to resurrect the Knight Rider series. I don't know when or how solid it is but here's the reference.

Wow, I mean wow. They're really scraping to get this one. Was that series really that successful? I mean, don't get me wrong, I loved it as a kid. It was the coolest thing around. But I was 10. Could I really judge? I found it totally believable that a car could be built to withstand a missile strike, drive 200+ mph, and be nearly waterproof. I mean look at the features on this baby. In fact I was sure that there was a car out there who really talked and spouted sarcasm and wit from every one of his 1 billion dash board buttons and hypnotizing lights.

And how could they choose a Ford? Are you serious? I know my audience is not particularly car savvy here but you've got to do better than a Mustang. If you're so out of material that you have to trot out the Knight again at least be true to your roots. Make it a throw back worthy of the low standards of acting/writing/directing/camera work/plot lines of yesteryear (meaning 1982-1986). Even though the Pontiac Trans-Am line ended in 2002 you could at least stay with the Pointiac line. Maybe a Solstice, or a GTO, or hey I know an Aztek. No wait all those are butt ugly. How about a Vibe, oooh thats....not it either. OK so maybe not a Pontiac, let's look to the GM brand in general. My pick: the Aveo. And if not that then one of these.

Alright so there aren't any GM cars that would do it in this day in age (cars that go 200 mph and get 5 mpg aren't really hot sellers). The Corvette is the last bastion of excess put out by GM. But alas would not do for KITT. But neither will a Mustang. Slim pickings in the 'American' sports car genre.

What they should really go for is the new all electric Tesla. It's lean (very sporty), mean (0-60 in under 4 seconds (which is really fast, your Taurus for instance (Ben) 12+ seconds with your foot through the floor (yes, Dan, I just upped your multi-parenthesis record, muhaha))), but most of all green. Very PC for NBC.

Alright I'm running on empty battery wise and you're running out of interest in this post. So we'll say this:

Good luck Ultra-Cheesy-Hoff-Replacement-Guy (or Girl) and try not to fall asleep at the wheel.......again, and again, and again; KITT can only drive so much before the system crashes. Especially if it's based on Windows.

Full House

At the risk of writing my second straight post without any comments, I'm going to stay with the political theme and suggest a new method for choosing our presidential candidates. The voting process has proven its own inadequacies again and again, and processing electoral math has many Americans more dumbfounded than if you had asked them to balance the federal budget.

To that end, I now propose a new selection process for our Commander in Chief which will no doubt prove more accurate in the choosing of the best possible candidate. Poker.

All of the skills needed to deal with foreign heads of state and a Congress run by the minority party, are honed and proven during a tight game of poker. While seven-card stud and texas hold 'em would be excellent gauges, I think the swings and the multi-dimensional thinking of a game of Omaha Hi-Lo would best suit our needs for finding a new POTUS.

The merchandising and endless TV airings of the machinations of this grand tournament would be worth a fortune. We eliminate the estimated $1 billion (per candidate) cost of running a presidential campaign, and add only the costs of the TV production and of course, don't forget to tip your dealer.

Obama plays poker. Ron Paul has become an advocate for legalizing domestic online poker. The only loser here might be Mike Huckabee.

And think of the precedent this could set for settling future political quagmires. At an impossible disagreement over immigration? Settle it at the table, boys. Or maybe it's high time that President Bush cemented his legacy by resolving the long standoff between Israel and Palestine over a quick round of five-card draw.

Press conferences announcing new policies would be a dream. What exactly was the administration's rationale for this radical new energy reform bill? "Simply put, we missed an outside draw, and Harry Reid took it with a high pair!"

Speaking of press conferences, this has got to be one of the BEST ever:

how do i get on TV?

I’ve been in and out of the Amazing Race this season. This is a show that Erin and I can watch together, bonding through the 60’ of drama and idiotic commercials. We have a little more interest in this season than others, because we actually applied for this one. Made a quick tape, filled out a survey and turned in all the paperwork. And can I just say that the survey is very unnerving. It may have been taken right from some sort of couple therapy book. Questions like “when did your partner most disappoint you?” (look up application)

Anyway, we didn’t even make the next round of interviews. Then I see the season premier and I realize why. We don’t have a hook. Look at current season’s contestants.

A Goth couple, all decked out in pink and black
A lesbian couple, who also happen to be ordained ministers
A couple who had only been dating for a couple of weeks
A couple ready to take their relationship to the next level (ie marriage)
A grandpa and his grandson
Overachieving brother and sister

What did we have to offer? Normalcy. A marriage going on 7 years in good shape, a child, a house. Nothing too fancy. Shouldn’t that have been our hook? Middle America? I suppose we could have talked up the religion angle but without sexual deviancy to go with it, that chance would have lacked punch.

So my new idea is to research a fatal but active disease and use the angle, “Hey I’m dying from this weird disease, I’ve only got a couple of months, and my wife and I are big fans of the show and want to share our final moments together running around the world.” The Make A Wish route. Seriously, who wouldn’t be for that? Every week has the added tension of our elimination, which would mean not only is our race over but that glimmer of hope before my impending death is gone too. Tears, people, tears.

So I’ve got to his webmd and figure something out before next season. I’d say I’d keep you updated but obviously it’s a secret.

At the library last week I picked up “Rolling Stones Rock n Roll Circus.” I had not heard of some of the bands on the agenda, but picked up to watch the Who and the Stones. The show opens with a bizarre entrance of famous musicians and circus performances. Really weird.

The first act up is Jethro Tull, and the only thing I knew about them was that the main guy was a really good flute player (thanks to listening to Bob and Tom). Absolutely amazing. They played “A Song for Jeffery”, and I strongly suggest you look it up on youtube. I plan to search for more songs and see if they are something I can get into.

Next up is the Who, and they blow the roof of the place. I mean it is only a big top after all. How Peter Townsend can play guitar like that, I’ll never know. And Keith Moon on drums. The band is out of control. Great performance of “A Quick One. . .”, a song broken into 6 different parts. Bizarre.

They are followed by Taj Mahal. Great blues sound, and I looked them up and the main guitar player is Jesse Ed Davis, a full blooded Native American, who played with all the greats and died prematurely in his early 40’s.

After Taj Mahal is the definition of the supergroup. The Faces had a some big names and let’s not forget Velvet Revolver, but imagine John Lennon, Eric Clapton Keith Richards and Mitch Mitchell together. They were for one glorious moment as Dirty Mac. See wikipedia entry below.

The Dirty Mac were an English supergroup consisting of John Lennon, Eric Clapton, Keith Richards and Mitch Mitchell that Lennon put together for The Rolling Stones' ill-fated TV special entitled The Rolling Stones Rock and Roll Circus. Recorded on 11 December 1968, this was the first time that Lennon, who was still with The Beatles, had performed in public without the other Beatles after the Beatles were created. The Dirty Mac recorded a rendition of the Lennon-penned Beatles track "Yer Blues" and then went on to back up Yoko Ono and violinist Ivry Gitlis on a track called "Whole Lotta Yoko" (which was essentially an extended blues jam).

Finally the Rolling Stones came on, and performed a full range of music, from slow and contemplative to rockin out. I looked up the notes for the show and the Stones came on stage at 5am in the morning after 17 hours of performance and set up. Their set culminated with a truly mezmarizing performance of “Sympathy for the Devil”. I know the Stones are has beens and should hang everything up, but what I would have given to see them in their prime.

eBook 'em Danno

The proverbial 'eBook' has been talked about for some time. Predicted by some to spell the end of paper books and give inexpensive access to millions of book titles for everyone.

Early eBooks were plagued by short battery life (after all who wants to have to plug in your book to a wall outlet) and poor screen quality causing massive headaches and very strong squinting muscles. New players from Amazon and Sony have promised once again to put an end to print and paper. 'eInk' technology is what is supposed to sound this death knell; a screen that has 'as good or better' quality for your words and phrases and cliches than print and it only uses the battery when the screen changes pages so you can sit until your butt is black and blue and still have power to spare. Sounds great.

Maybe not.

First of all there's something strangely satisfying about hefting War and Peace or the Brothers Karamazov (Russian books, why not?) and turning each and every page from front to back. It's the difference between hiking up a mountain and driving up one. Both may be fun to some degree but you really miss that sense of accomplishment when all you have to do is push down the pedal and turn the steering wheel.

Next, do we really want the cost of publishing to go through the floor? My head goes reeling just walking in the door of Barnes and Noble or some other bookzilla store as it is. The sheer number of authors and titles is enough vertigo to make Emily Dickinson toss her tea and crumpets. Just imagine if you had the selection that you have in the blogosphere in the published book world. When I reach for a book about theology do I really want to reach out and get any old crazy who published whatever he wants? "Oh look at that, according to this 'scholar,' Jesus was really Mark Twain abducted by aliens in the tail of a near by comet in 1892. It must be true this is a published work."

This is the reason we have a system in place. Editors, publishers, costly printing processes, etc. The idiots out there need to remain safely in their obscurity having as little influence as possible.

But who knows, maybe we've lost the battle already. Heck, your reading this blog and the button below says 'Publish Post.' That must mean that I have something to say that deserves a hearing! Actually I'm just an idiot with nothing to say at all. At least, not anything that hasn't already been said.

Free Tids and Bits...

Yes! It's everybody's favorite bit. Now it's time for the part of the show were Crystal talks about random stuff in no particular order.

First up, let me just say that the spectacular renovation on my kitchen just recently completed by my wonderful husband and I will be available on my personal blog very shortly with before and after pictures in 3-D! Nope, just regular old two dimensional pics, just be happy they're in color.

I've been on "vacation" for the last 8 days. I say "vacation" because that's how I'm getting paid but I wouldn't say it's been an actual vacation in that renovating a kitchen really doesn't send you back to work with that refreshed feeling that I believe real vacations are supposed to. However, I'm hoping that counting down the 4 days of work I have before my Christmas Holiday will help me get through.

Then, should all go according to my devious plan, Ben will get a job, we'll sell the house, and I can turn in my resignation with a double deuce flourish and not have to go back there ever again.

Anyway, on to other tids (since that was an overlong bit) I took a "vacation" to see 'I am Legend' tonight (not to be confused with "Legend", the only Tom Cruise movie worth seeing) I won't give you any spoilers because typing the entire plot of a movie just doesn't sound like a good time right now. Needless to say, in my own professional opinion, it made me happy, it made me sad, it was good, then it wasn't so good. I went away feeling unfulfilled. There was an awful lot of subplots in the movie that could have been expanded but they chose not to. So many times I would get excited about something only to find it glossed over or completely forgotten later on. It actually felt like a short movie because the real depth was never probed. You spend the whole movie waiting expectantly for the climax only to find the credits.

Golden Nibblets of Knowledge. Advertisers should really consider making a lot of different commercials for the same product instead of flooding the airwaves with the same freakin' commercial over and over again. Is there anything more annoying at Christmas than terrible advertising (hmm, made for tv christmas movies?) I encourage all advertisers to consider taking their boring or annoying commercials to the next level...CLAYMATION!

My favorite, by far, of all the 'mations out there, nothing makes insipid advertising as almost palatable as the age old art of claymation. Many advertisers seem to be using it this holiday season. I say to you, what can be more appealing than Santa's belly that shakes and jiggles like a bowl full of Claymation! Jelly? I think not. And so many other commercial characters out their are somehow less abrasive and more adorable.

A Fishing Metaphor Gone Wrong. We'll since Ben's graduation was Saturday, we've become more and more intent on finding him a job. He's had lots of nibbles on the bait but so far, no takers. Which is almost a little offensive since, in this metaphor, Ben himself is the bait. Employers keep emailing and their first questions in "what's your GPA?" and when he tells them, we never hear from them again. It's like giving the bait a nudge and deciding it's not to your taste. When in fact, Ben is quite good bait, he's a hard worker, he knows what he's doing, he's a team player, he's honest and ethical. They really don't know what they're missing, all they need is one taste of that tasty Ben and they'd be hooked. Right now we are currently waiting (with fingers crossed) to hear back from three (yes, THREE) different companies that have all "nudged the bait" with the age old question. Now, we'll see if any are willing to open up and swallow.

Sorry I went a little buck wild on the labels.

Let's Have A Party

Despite a broad base of support and his own marketing blimp (yes, a blimp), Ron Paul is hearing a lot of conversation these days about how he should run for President in 2008 on an independent ticket. Yes, another modern-day Ross Perot has entered our midst, and although Mr.Paul is thus far resisting such talk, mistakenly believing that he can actually win the Republican nomination, it seems inevitable that we will have a big-name 3rd party candidate yet again. If it's not Paul, rumblings are that it might be Michael Bloomberg.

Either way, the idea that any candidate outside the two-party system could win the White House is a fantasy. Granted, an attractive fantasy - can you imagine the diplomacy that would be forced to take place with a two-party Congress and a third-party President? - but a fantasy nonetheless. Our country hasn't had an "independent" Prez since George Washington, and that was only because the parties hadn't formed yet (He eventually went Federalist, the commie!).

No, my friends, the only way to get some traction here is for us to come up with a new political party that we can use to push out one of the existing political parties. Heretofore, I am accepting suggestions for a name for our new party that will march American history in a bold new direction! It may take us many decades to acquire the prominence we will need to become one of the top two vote-getters, but once we're there, we'll be able to polarize, dicker and deal, and play the traditional give-and-take with the other suriving party, to continue to accomplish the glorious nothingness that already works so handily in Washington.

Who's with me? I know one place I can start - I'll just buy Crystal's vote.

And of course, a post like this about American political parties just wouldn't carry the same weight without the immortal words of the Monty Python troupe:

scifi and studio 60

Recently Erin and I have started watched “The 4400.” Basically 4400 people disappear over 60 years and then all return in a great ball of light, without having aged a day from the day of their disappearance. For instance, an eight year old goes missing in the 1940’s and when she returns, she is still eight. The 4400 are released back into the general public, which does not go smoothly.

The hook is that each of the 4400 has a power that is to prevent the end of the humanity in the future. Future generations captured the 4400 to alter them and then sent them back to alter the course of the human race. For comic nerds, imagine “Rising Stars” except the ball of light doesn’t imbue fetuses with power but rather inserts human at various ages and ethnic backgrounds into the general population.

Right now we have begun season 2 and are interested to see how it plays out.

We have also started another new show. Due to hiatus of house because of the writer’s strike, we have had to go to plan B. Tom brought over Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip, which to be fair is a ridiculous name. Studio 60 would have been more than adequate. Look at Sorkin’s previous shows, “SportsNight” and “West Wing”. Short and to the point. But I digress.

We watched the pilot in place of House and let’s just say you have to be paying attention. Things move and they move fast. The show covered a lot of ground quickly and set the groundwork for some interesting plot lines. Of course the show only lasted a season, which is a good sign. Shows that seem to be critically acclaimed, whatever that means, and get cancelled quickly are usually shows I can get into. “K Street” and “Boomtown” come to mind. We shall see if Studio 60 fits that mold.


As for the big screen, I watched “Déjà Vu” last week. It was great for a while, intense, intriguing story line, typical Denzel Washington vehicle. In the end, I could suspend my belief for so long.

** Spoiler Alert**
Basically the movie deals with how humans and our puny little minds understand the time/space continuum. But that doesn’t even matter. Forget the Einstein bridge and wormhole, etc. I don’t get it, don’t even want to. If this is reality fine. If, by sending items/humans/whatever, back or forward in time as we understand it, we can affect this present reality, fine. Forget all that. That’s not important to the believability of the film. Denzel gets shot and loses a lot of blood, while driving, mind you. Then he “cleans up” saves the girl, gets on the ferry and saves the crowd. HE GOT SHOT. I’m no doctor and I didn’t stay at a Holiday Inn Express last night, but he goes back in time and has to have the defibulator used on him; then is shot; drags what’s her name from a shed that explodes; drives back into New Orleans while holding a handkerchief on a gun shot wound; cleans up at woman’s apartment (to further develop the romantic aspect of the story line) and throws a little gauze on wound; and then manages to have the energy to run around and distract the bomber in order to save the girl and the hundreds of passengers. All I’m saying is don’t jerk my chain. Have him do his heroics but have him do it within the bounds of reason. Don’t have him get shot. Don’t have him suffer a concussion because of his proximity to a major explosion. Just think before adding layer upon layer of action and special effects.

A Holodeck for Your Computer

Here's another tech blog for you coming in a bit late (supposed to be on the weekend) but here none-the-less.

Today we're going to go deep into geekdom and talk about a really old technology that's enjoying a revival of late. It's called 'virtualization.' Here's what it is.

Most of the time (like this time I'm using to type up this post) your computer is running along not really being used to it's fullest potential. Similar to the previous post's brain analogy. So, to use that time would make your computer more efficient and you'd get a bunch more done right (just nod your head)?

Virtualization takes advantage of this fact by running more than one computer on your computer.

Here's a brief summary of how it works. If you've seen Star Trek you'll get the following references if not, sorry. In Star Trek the holodeck is a place you can go that will create a world for you to interact with as if you were interacting for real. It is 'virtual' in that sense. They make software that can do the same thing. This software creates another computer, a 'world' if you will, inside your computer that's all virtual. So you can load a lame operating system like Windows XP or a more venerable one like Linux or Mac OS X and then load all of your programs as if you were loading them on the real computer. But then you can create another one and load Windows XP again (for your wife/child/other) and let them use that one. So, just like all the coppertops in the Matrix your operating system is none the wiser that it's really running in a fake world with fake memory and a fake processing unit.

So why oh why would you ever want to do that? There are many scenarios but consider the following. How many computers do you have in your house? The average family has at least one computer per member and some (like me) have more. So with virtualization you could buy one physical computer and monitors and turn that one computer into 4. Wierd. But imagine the electric bill!

Now imagine that you are a big fan of the Macintosh operating system but you really need to use Quicken but all you have is the Windows version of quicken. No sweat. You can fire up your 'virtual' copy of Windows XP with Quicken loaded on it and go to town bouncing those checks.

Well, that's probably not quite what your looking for when visiting the cultural tap, ah well. Feel free to comment where it falls for you on the geek-o-meter.

I'm Still Counting This As Friday

I'm working on a new theory.

Scientifically, it would be a really bad theory because I don't have the correct format for a hypothesis. But maybe my 8th grade science teacher was just too picky. Let's see if I can make this work.

Basically, the gist is: "If it is incorrect to disdain God for certain characteristics we have projected onto Him or misunderstood, is it then also incorrect to worship God under those same misguided pretenses?"

I've heard it said that we despise most in other people what we see in ourselves. So whenever I find myself despising certain things about people I often wonder if I'm doing the same thing or something close to it.

So in college when I saw people who seemed to be worshiping for the express purpose of getting their warm fuzzies, I wondered if it was possible my worship were also not up to par. I decided that I see one extreme from the "warm fuzzy" populace, but I often see another extreme in my own. Sometimes I worship quite literally. Worship is to bring before God an act that implies his worthiness. Sometimes I'm all about the act. I am so focused on giving God a song or a prayer because He is worthy that I simply leave out the heart and soul of it. I set my feelings completely aside.

To a point, it works, I'm focused. I'm not so caught up in a melody that I don't even know what I'm saying. I used to refuse to sing "Lord I Lift Your Name on High" because I can't stand the song, and high school youth group made up hand motions for EVERY SONG and I just couldn't take it anymore. However, at some point I decided that I was going to sing every song in worship because it's not about what I like and dislike. And it is silly to think that we can only reflect on Gods worthiness by doing something we like and that makes us feel good.

But I think it is detrimental to keep your heart and soul from getting involved. I'm not allowing the full experience, one can never give to God without receiving back in return. So I can understand when people get emotionally involved in the song they feel like they are worshiping "more" and going away blessed because of it.

This leads me to wonder, what about God are people worshiping exactly? What characteristic of God makes people want to stand up and sing? I have to think each person, through experiences and learning, chose those characteristics that appeal to them, that they feel God is worthy of praise for. I feel like each persons experience with God which leads them to worship can be so completely different from the next persons that it must be near impossible for our vision of God to be anything alike.

And more so, how are we all worshiping in unity if we are all worshiping a separate characteristic of God? Can we really be unified if someone is worshiping God's mercy while another is worshiping Gods wrath and justice, even while singing the same song?

Is it really fair to God that we pick and choose what about Him we want to worship? I know how futile it is to even mention "fairness" in God's relationship with humankind. Up until this point, nothing has been fair. We pick only our favorite characteristics to worship Him for but He told Job that He is worthy no matter what happens or what He does or does not do. My brain is about to have a seizure trying to comprehend that, I can't imagine trying to embrace it with my heart!

I have trouble giving God any decent worship when I feel my prayers are going unanswered, that's all, just a little unanswered (as of yet) prayer and I can't hardly focus on God's worthiness. Can I imagine trying to do the same after losing my family, my wealth, my friends, all of my belongings, and my health? My brain is too small to even begin to understand the depth of Gods worth even when He has gone against us.

We want God to play by our rules, we want our Jesus in a little white box so we can take him out and (kiss kiss kiss) and share him with a friend. When, in reality, God's worthiness is so far beyond our understanding that there are times I sing and say in my mind, "God, You are so worthy that I have no idea why or how much or what for" and I can't imagine that my act of response to that worthiness is even a drop in the bucket.

Again, I've heard it said that people only use 10% of their brains power. I often wonder if God is saving the rest for Christs return, because it will take the whole of our mental capacities to comprehend the worthiness of God.

"Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known."

Short and Sweet

I've had a couple of busy days and was not able to post on my "assigned" day of Wednesday. I've often wondered, and may have even posted this on a former blog I kept, but have you ever wondered why insane people only do bad things? I can recall hundreds of reports on TV about people who do horrendous acts claiming insanity, and sometimes found not guilty.

Why don’t we see a headline that reads, "Man goes insane and in a fit of calmness bakes thirteen dozen cookies for the local food bank." Or, "Woman insane, just snaps, and puts all clothes away instead of leaving them on the bed!"

It is only the bad that ignites the insanity defense.

music, SEC football and the Matrix

Thanks to Pandora, my two new favorite groups are Black Rebel Motorcycle Club and the Doves.

BMRC is raw garage rock that kicks some serious ass. I have even considered buying their new album, an errand I haven’t done since I can’t remember. As for the Doves, they have more of a pop sound, but that’s ok. I checked out one of their albums at the library and I’ve since found more songs through Pandora. Good stuff.

Last week there was a cover of Nirvana’s Lithium on Sit or Spin. Absolutely horrible, and thankfully the panel all agreed with that assessment. Essentially it was the song interrupted by really old techno. You have to hear it to believe it.

Moving on . . .

I’m just going to say that the SEC football season of 2007 has been one of the greatest sporting events in my life. Maybe second only to Man U’s treble in ‘99. Almost every week, there was dramatic game with huge plays and high stakes on the line. LSU beat Florida by going for it on fourth down 5 times and making it every time. UK beat then #1 LSU in overtime. Georgia scores their first touchdown against Florida and the entire team celebrates in the end zone. How great is that? Then Thanksgiving week, Arkansas beat LSU in triple overtime to ruin LSU’s season and that was followed by UK coming back against Tennessee from 31-14 in the fourth quarter to force overtime, of which there were FOUR. UK had a chance to win the game in one of the overtime periods with a field goal, which was blocked and almost returned by UT to win the game. Amazing. So if there’s a bowl game with a SEC team in it, watch. Based on this season you won’t be disappointed.

Went back in my video collection and watched the Matrix again. What a great movie. There is no such thing as perfection so the flaw in this jewel has to be Keanu Reeves. The rest of the cast is so good and it is such an interesting, mind blowing story that his poor performance is made that much worse. Even watching time after time, you can't get away from his deer in thead light surfer dude projection. Anyway, I still don’t get everything, and that’s fine, but after watching it again, it really made me wonder why they had to make the second and third ones. Sure the Merovingian is interesting and the conversation with the Maker leads to all kinds of existential discussions, but why couldn’t have the story just ended with Neo flying up into the sky and that be that? The answer is money of course and that sucks.

Mr. Harris' Wild Ride -- Part THREE

In which The Harris Family arrives in DC, Dan skips any reference to the events of his vacation in Olney, Maryland, and the story picks up on the return trip to Toledo as if no time had passed whatsoever:

If you recall from the previous entry of this story, Jeff, Nazy, and Katie all deboarded in Pennsylvania, never to be seen again, and the train continued on towards our final destination in Washington, DC. Specifically the Baltimore Train Station (more on this later).

All my new friends were gone, and a tired aching settled in, so I headed back to find my parents sleeping. I stretched out on the two seats available to me and tried to get some sleep. This went OK, but in my sleep my feet kept poking out into the aisle, and my mother, who was across the aisle, seemed to wake up every time this happened and woke me up to get me to move my legs in so that people could pass more easily (they weren't really out very far, as I was curled into a fetal position (this being the only way to even partially fit across the seats in a semi-horizontal position)). Surprisingly, these interruptions occurred frequently enough that I was not really getting a whole lot of sleep. I wondered why she felt this responsibility to keep me out of the aisle, but didn't feel the need to get the other 30% of the passengers to move any part of themselves out of the aisle (obviously I knew the answer to this question, but you who know me know how irritable I can be when my sleep gets interrupted constantly (I was, for a change, controlled enough not to blurt something angry in an attempt to be left alone, and I assume this could only be because I didn't want to spoil any one's enjoyment of the trip)).


Whatever.....


Anyway, we finally made it to the Baltimore Train Station which was, to say the least, gorgeous. Neo-Classic Roman architecture that was breathtaking, with a ceiling almost too high to seem realistic, and along the top of all the walls, gigantic statues of ancient figures loomed, looking down on us weary travellers, that we may arrive and depart safely under their protection. That's the most poetic way I could think of to say, "Hmmm... Nice statues."


My Uncle Jimmy picked us up and we headed to Olney, MD.


A week later, Uncle Jimmy dropped us off at the Rockville Train Station. We had discovered that there was this much closer train station located a mere 20 minutes from my Aunt & Uncle's house. Way more convenient than the hour and half + trip to/from Baltimore. This was a much more understated crossroads, with nothing special to report about it whatsoever. Train Station. Neato.


We hopped on and headed back towards Toledo. I slept (or tried to sleep) through a great deal of this part of the trip. A few beers from the club car (observation room in upper level) helped to add to my drowsiness, but I still found it nearly impossible to get comfortable.


Tired from my Maryland exploits, I felt less adventurous when it came to locating fellow passengers to kill time with, so settled in to some MP3's and hoped for a speedy arrival in OH.

About a quarter of the way through the trip, after the conductor (a female this time, and no less dick-y than her male counterpart) informed us there would be no stops long enough to catch a smoke for 2-3 hours, I started to consider breaking Amtrak rules again and locating an unobserved bathroom. However, about 10 minutes later, an announcement came over the PA. This was perhaps the most unusual public announcement I've ever heard in my life. The guy giving it sounded like Bill Lumbergh and seemed to have no idea what he was about to tell us. Several umm's and uhh's later, he actually started to get to some kind of point.


"Uhhh... Just so you all know... ummm... There is no, uh, smoking allowed on any Amtrak railways.... so... if you could just.... you know.... not do that.... uh, on the train.... that'd be great.... uh... yeah, so we caught someone... ummm, smoking in the bathroom.... and, yeah... that's actually, um, against the, uh, Amtrak regulations.... If, ehhh.. If, if we were to catch anyone doing this, you can, uh... you can expect to be banned from riding with us in the, uh, in the future.... "


The above was not exaggerated. In fact, it went on quite a bit longer than that. Of course, my mom is looking at me the whole time, mouthing the words, "Was that YOU!!!" Naturally, I informed her that, of course, it was not me... I'd been sitting in my seat for quite some time anyway. (Of course, I was in no mood to suggest that it might have been me. (Although, later at a smoke stop, I met the guy who I'm pretty confident was the loser that got busted, and he was pretty stupid. I'm confident I wouldn't have been caught anyway))


This was possibly the most exciting action on this part of the trip.... sooooo... moving on.....

I slept off and on as people boarded and deboarded. As the trip went on, there were fewer passengers deboarding than those boarding, so eventually I actually had to share my seat. This really sucked, because it was already uncomfortable enough without having to sleep upright. And as it turned out, the nearly impossible time I was having getting some sleep became almost completely nearly impossible. I must have slept some, because songs I was listening to kept turning into different ones mid-beat, but it was all exactly that kind of sleep where you blink and it's later.... so... crappy sleep.


We arrived in Toledo, and as we were getting off the train, who did we see but none other than ANDY the DRUNK! Turns out he and Marge, his mother, had not left us forever after all. We discussed our respective trips while waiting to get on the bus from Toledo to East Lansing. I was way too bored with travelling to get very excited about this, though. I was tired and didn't feel like getting too close to Andy, who was sick the entire time he was gone (apparently, he caught some bug after my fated drinking of some of his beer, because I still had had no ill effects). It was nice to see them again, as it felt like some kind of neat bookend to this whole train experience that I was at first enjoying immensely, but had since discovered that I was merely enduring.


While sitting in the lobby (this went on longer than planned because the other train that was carrying passengers who were supposed to take the same bus as us, was running REALLY late), Pop had found another friend to talk to. He was a Larry, a large black salesman of some kind. He had apparently been put upon in some way due to his being black, and they were discussing this. What had happened was, he was chatting with a passenger seated next to him on the train and the man in front of him got pissed off and basically yelled at him, telling him keep it down! Larry the Salesmen felt that this was racially motivated because the white man who told him to shut up seemed to have no problem with the white women in a nearby seat who were also having a discussion. This seemed plausible in light of a dialogue I had been subjected to during a smoke break on the train somewhere along our path. Two unseemly individuals were talking about the "dark" area that we were in and, basically, how they felt about that. My reply was a drawn out "Okaaaaay....." and a furrowed brow followed by finishing my smoke alone.


Anyway, skipping ahead a tad, we finally got on the bus, and Larry sat in front of me papa, constantly turned around a bit in order to discuss further topics with him. I fell asleep to the sounds of Larry discussing vitamins, exercise, products, etc. with my father. I slept through the whole bus trip and next thing I knew we were back in good ol' East Lansing. Pop later informed me that Larry the Salesmen did not shut his mouth the entire trip. Even when Pop would pretend to go to sleep so that he may actually get some sleep, Larry would tap him on the shoulder to open up a new topic. Turns out, Larry is pretty much just really annoying, and we questioned whether or not his claims of being racially abused were actually in any way related to the color of his skin. Perhaps Whitey on the train just wanted to get some sleep (as it was like 3-4 in the morning when the incident took place). Alas, we will never know for sure.... The Shut Up guy was at least rude to not ask nicely first. Ah, race relations. I could go on all day....

So.... that's it... we got off the train, and my brother Ash drove us to my parents house. I grabbed my car and headed back to Okemos.


Anti-climactic, ain't it?


Sorry about that... couldn't be helped. The trip back was just kind of boring. And since you all got to enjoy the more interesting parts, I don't feel too bad about you having to put up with this section, admittedly not well written, due largely to the fact that it was almost as boring reliving it as it was living it.


The good news is, I will not be writing anymore too-long stories for a while. Ah, who am I kidding, I don't know any other way to write.... but I'll probably keep em all in one part from now on.... you lucky devils....


Love,
Dan

Technology on Tap - TV Shows On Demand

Alright, so 'streaming' has been around for a long time. Internet radio has been the bane of businesses for 10 years. 100 people listening to 100 different radio stations tends to saturate the very expensive Internet connection that said business is ponying up for.

Since I work in technology, it's my job to make sure that you (the rogue Internet radio listener) are blocked at every twist and turn in the dark back alleys of the Internet where you find unsanctioned radio streams that do everything in their power to get around guys like me.

Thus I was reluctant to try out 'TV on demand' as it is a similar technology. That and I'm generally slow on the uptake for new tech because, even though I'm a tech guy, it is not something that I breathe in and out. It's a job and like anything else that you do for 8 hours a day for 5 days a week, it gets old. Don't worry I still like to talk about it so don't think that you can't ask me to fix your scrap heap of a computer (Tom) when it decides that it's had enough and finally chokes on the dust you've been feeding it for 5 years under the desk.

With that rambling tangent out of the way (you do ramble on Blogs right? I'm new at this). I've been watching the show 'Chuck' on NBC's website. It's nice. Full screen doesn't work so hot, neither does 'large' so I leave it alone as is. They have four episodes back which is a bit annoying since their is no way in Sheol that I'm buying a box set. I like that you can watch anytime, don't like that you have to watch THE SAME commercial about 6 times throughout the show. It's 30 seconds but come on. How many times can I watch some guy (who by the looks of things does not need the product their hocking) run UNDER water through a pond bursting fourth on the opposite side because, since he took Excedrin, 'nothing can stop him?' Does Excedrin have both lead (to weight you down) and oxygen (to keep you breathing) so you can run with fish? Perhaps swimming is not tough enough looking.

Now that I've successfully completed my second tangent, I'll comment on the show 'Chuck.' It's supposed to be a geek show that geeks can identify with. Being a geek myself I'll give it a C+ to B- for geek accuracy. For the record the vast majority of geeks do not know Klingon or speak regularly about the work of J.R.R Tolkien. Perhaps I am not as hard-core geek as I ought to be -- I'll work on that. After all art imitates life, right?

The show's plot is catchy, and the 'Buy More' is great. Overall the show doesn't try to take itself too seriously and pulls the geekiness off pretty well. I laugh multiple times during the show which is usually a good sign. It helps having the guy who played Jane on Firefly along for the ride.

So despite my reservations I've really enjoyed the on-demand internet TV shows and might even try some other ones. Suggestions?

People I Can Look Up To...

According to this article on Themorningcall.com. "Travel company operator Hal Taussig buys his clothes from thrift shops, resoles his shoes and reads magazines for free at the public library.The 83-year-old founder of Untours also gives away all of his company's profits to help the poor -- more than $5 million since 1999. He is content to live on Social Security."

Apparently, he only takes a $6,000 salary from the company he founded. If he has any money left at the end of the month it goes to charity. He only takes a salary in the first place because the government thought he was trying to get out of paying taxes (ironic huh?). Most of his money goes to helping people with very low interest loans.

"While big corporations give away more money than Taussig, Cohen said, the donation could be ''one-half of 1 percent of profits while Hal gave away $5 million and that's 100 percent of his profits.''

In his own words he tries to make capitolists. ''They should be self-sustaining. You give them money and they run out and you have to give more. But if you give them a way to make a living, it's like teaching them how to fish rather than giving them fish.''

This is a guy I can get behind, this is the kind of giving I would like to see more of. But it's hard. I certainly wouldn't do it. At least not at my age. I don't have my house paid off, so there's that I have to consider. And I don't get Social Security (and personally if I had enough money at that age I wouldn't take it) so it looks like for the time being I have to consider saving money and paying for big expesive things like housing and retirement and all that fun stuff.

Although I'm sure at times Ben can see the relief in getting rid of money. While Ben is so busy with his final week of school, paying bills and balancing the check book are always hanging over his head. Sometimes, especially when things are busy, it would be nice to not have to worry about money.

Reception

This last Thursday was another chance to engage in the most reverent of holiday traditions. I've thought this through carefully and I do believe that I now favor Thanksgiving for its events more than any holiday. To expound:

Christmas - Not the thrill it used to be. It may just be that I'm still single at 33, with no dwelling of my very own, and no immediate family to "gear up" for Christmas with. So I don't engage in the post-Thanksgiving decorating, no tree, no lights, to get me in the mood. No Christmas shopping with loved ones, I don't much like Christmas music, and I honestly don't even really attend many Christmas parties or holiday get-togethers. When Christmas finally arrives, for most people, it's the culmination of a month of anticipation. For me, it's a day off.

Easter - Another day off. Church + dinner. Maybe someday I'll color eggs with my kids. Even that is a 50/50 proposition...

4th of July - Why have I lost my appreciation of fireworks? I'm really not sure. Can they "all look the same" when you only get to see them once or twice a year? Evidently so, because when the city of Lansing was shooting them off at the lighting of the Christmas tree last week, I was only a block away, but was more interested in vaccuming my store then going outside to view the spectacle.

So now I'm in a place where the most sacred of holiday traditions occurs on Thanksgiving, as family gathers close and dinner plates are passed. Everyone comes together to count our blessings.... and I remove myself to participate in the holy holiday ritual of Lions football.

I remember fondly, even in the golden days, the smaller customs that accompanied this tradition. My mother imploring me to quit isolating myself and come downstairs for dinner, my brothers joining me for all of about five minutes (the most football they could handle), banging with frustration on the TV for better reception out on the farm, and of course, Lion deficits of 10, 17, or 24 points. All of these cherished memories add up to incite even more excitement for the new chapters I will add to this annual rite each year.

As a final demonstration of how truly magnificent this convention has become, I will leave you with the most innovative and humorous of the new beer ad campaigns debuted on this year's games:

Right vs. Left

Reading the subject of this post, your mind might instantaneously bring up political images and wonder how I might pit one against the other. But I will not. Instead, I thought I’d share a little about an article I just read – you can read it here.

If you don’t have time to read the article, I’m happy to give you a synopsis: Rhode Island Hospital – 3 brain surgeries – wrong side of brain. In the article, the Director of Health at the hospital expressed his concern and then stated, “While the hospital has made improvements in the operating room, they have not extended these changes to the rest of the hospital.” To what degree must changes be made in order for a neurosurgeon to know his/her right from left - or more specifically, the right and left of a patient on an operating table?

Further, the article indicates two of the patients were okay after the wrong-sided surgery – which begs a couple of questions: What exactly did the neurosurgeon do on the wrong side of the brain – just haphazardly poke around? And, at what point did they realize the error? “Mrs. Smith, your surgery went better than expected, we accomplished all we needed to – what’s this? Black marker dashes on the left side of your head? Uh oh.”

The article further states, “In addition to the fine, the state ordered the hospital to develop a neurosurgery checklist that includes information about the location of the surgery…, and to put in place a plan to train staff on the new checklist.” I’m sure these people ordinarily do great work, but what might a checklist look like to make sure you are operating on the correct side of a brain?

REMINDER: Today you are operating on the LEFT SIDE of Mr. Smith’s brain.

1. Do you see the patient’s head (circle one, not the head – to clarify, circle ‘yes’ or ‘no’)? Yes No.

THIS IS VERY IMPORTANT: Assuming you answered ‘yes’ to question 1, face the patient nose to nose – your right side is directly in front of his left side, and vice versa. Please mark the side of the patient’s head which is directly in front of your right side.

NOTE: Although you have completed medical school and an additional 6-8 years of residency, new hospital policy stipulates you must confirm your choice with one of our elderly volunteers.

Imagine the dinner conversation: “So how was your day honey?” “Well, I operated on the wrong side of someone’s brain today, you?” “Fine.” “Mmm, tasty chicken.”

my bi-monthly constitutional

This weekend I saw two elderly gentlemen out for a morning jog. I can only hope that when I’m older I have a) the energy and b) the ability to go out for a run. The energy comes and goes even now. Physically, my back and knees are already going so who knows. But tonight I went out and enjoyed a stroll in the crisp autumn air, which was ruined from time to time by unleashed dogs. Now I understand that by their nature dogs like to roam free, but do you, and by you, I mean dog owners, think you might leash them when you take them for a walk? First dog runs at me and does the whole jumping at me. Rule #1, don’t touch me. The next dog tried to hump my leg. I’ve never experienced that and don’t want to start now. Again, see rule #1. Then this dog comes flying off the porch and starts sniffing me. Leave me alone.

Now understand, I have a very harsh, anti-pet stance. Didn’t have pets growing up, don’t want them now. Larry will probably want to have pets. Simple responses: go get a job at the pet store, which is down the street; go to the zoo, which is within walking distance; and when you’re out of the house, you can do whatever you want. But back to my point, when pets and pet owners encroach on my personal space and time, I get a little perturbed.

In keeping with the pet theme, am I the only who thinks that the Michael Vick thing has been overblown? This guy is going to jail and has lost his livelihood because of dogs. Is it really that big of a deal? Sports radio was filled with rants and accusations and a lot of what seemed like PETA talking points, all fired squarely at Vick and his inhumane hobby.

Jim Rome coming to the fore for dog rights? Are you kidding me? These are dogs. It’s their property. Do what you want. Vick is done with major professional football, (he’ll probably play CFL or Arena League), because he didn’t treat his dog like Lassie. So what? Jason Williams probably killed someone. Ray Lewis may have killed someone. They’re not in jail. And these were human beings. Other athletes are out there raping and driving drunk and having a bijillion kids with a bijillion moms and they keep on going. Yeah, maybe a little suspended sentence or some community service or outrageous child support checks, but they’re still in the game. Vick tortures dogs and he’s done. As in stick a fork in him. Yeah an NFL team will probably throw him a bone, but the big time is over.

And for what? Help me see where the crime is.

bonus Britney

Will the real Britney Spears please stand up? Yikes!!

more disappointments

Tomorrow the final qualifiers will be determined for Euro 2008. I have vented my spleen many a time on Sven and can I say I was wrong? He wasn’t the worst England manager. Frustrating, yes. Disappointing, sort of. Failure, no. The worst England manager is “Macca.” They were given an amazing gift by Israel and I just hope that they don't blow it against Croatia, althought it wouldn't be the worst thing in the world if they lost. I will spare you my rantings and just say I’m glad I’m not English. Between the manager and the performances of the players, it’s just pathetic. But hey American citizen, the Americans are terrible, especially at 2006 World Cup. Peformances, horrible. Management, every thing that could go wrong, did. But America sucks. Let’s be fair. Despite what the FIFA rankings say, the USA is not a world futbol power. The 2002 World Cup was a pleasant surprise, a taste of what is to come. Meanwhile the English stumble, I would say drunkenly, but that’s a harsh generalization, from failure to disappointment back to failure, while bumping into a moments of success only to be denied on penalties. Sorry I’ll just stop now.

Keeping on the soccer theme, I checked out a movie from the library with a bunch of Real Madrid players on the cover. I was like, cool, a Real Madrid highlight video. Let me just say, read the cover before checking out any movie. Turns out it was a Madridilista propaganda piece. Shows how Real reaches out and unites the whole world, blah, blah, blah. The acting was positively dreadful and there was very little in the way of highlights. I immediately went to youtube to cleanse my palate with some decent highlights.

I had another horrible experience, this time with music. I checked out a recent Black Keys release, “Magic Poison.” I’ve heard some previous albums and have a couple of singles on my iPod, but this CD was really bad. I can find at least one or two songs on almost CD, but no go. I’m not saying I could do better, but I know enough not to try. Wow.

One more negative comment and then I’ll move on. OSU/UM last weekend was one of the most pathetic football games I’ve ever seen. UM was only able to move forward on OSU pass interference penalties. Hey O co-ordinater for UM, YOU CAN’T RUN THE BALL!!! How about some quick passes. Oh that’s right, your receivers can’t catch the ball. Just horrible. I’m sure that me and a couple of friends could have done better. Seriously. And thank God that Carr is gone. Hopefully, UM will take this opportunity to join the 21st century and play attacking football that utilizes the speed of the skill players(read SEC).

Finally, I was watching the CBS Morning Show while getting ready for work. Julie Chen and her ever present smile let me know that the People Magazine’s “Sexiest Man of the Year” was about to be announced. Some editor lady tells the audience that Matt Damon is the winner, and Julie’s next words are, “Congratulations to Matt Damon on this honor.” Don’t want to burst your bubble there Julie, but he didn’t exactly earn it. He won the genetic lottery and honed his latent talent to become a very successful actor, and therefore put himself to win a subjective, superficial and meaningless award. He didn’t win work hard to win something meaningful like Big Brother. Of course I’m sure Matt is going to put the cover next to the Oscar he won for Good Will Hunting. How fake is Julie Chen anyway?

Moving on to something a little more positive, Reno 911: Season 4. Not the most edifying thing ever, but it is funny. The funniest episode was when Hooters’ rip off “Hotties” was the Reno PD corporate sponsor. You have to see it to believe it. But the best parts are the community adverts. HILARIOUS!! Visit the Reno 911 page at comedycentral.com. (Not suitable for work in some cases.)

Mr. Harris' Wild Ride -- Part TWO: An Increasingly Endearing Narrative Concerning the American Railway System

In which the train she keeps on a-rolling, people from all over the world are crammed into a wee booth, and Mr. and Mrs. Harris continue to sleep the sleep of the innocent:

If you recall, Andy the Drunk bid us adieu, never to be seen again. Me, Kate the MSU freshmen, Mom, and Pop chatted idly as the train swayed from side to side. This lasted but a few moments. Katie was not tired and wanted to return to the observation room (club car in lower level) to play cards and wile away the hours as we approached her hometown (the midpoint on my illustrious train trip). I was not feeling tired yet, and she seemed to be of a sweet temperament and possibly enjoyable to spend a little more time with before sleeping off the remainder of the journey.

We stumbled on up a few cars and entered the observation room (club car in lower level) in order to, indeed, play some cards.

It is at this time that we are about to meet two key characters, and one person from Oregon who is barely worth mentioning.

Jeff and Nazy (this is not pronounced (though it may appear similar) like the nickname for the National Socialist German Workers' party (unless you are Winston Churchill, in which case, you would pronounce both exactly the same)). These were the two lovebirds who traveled all the way from California, almost certainly specifically to meet me. Jeff is a typical American who, upon meeting him, could have been from almost anywhere. A WASP with a made-for-TV accent and no discernible origination. Nazy on the other hand, could have come from no where but California and if it were possible, I would think that she was born on celluloid. Very goofy, not distractingly attractive, and with a voice that took me back to my youth with visions of The Joker's female sidekick Harley Quinn from the hit 90's animated serial: Batman Adventures. She was quite endearing, and they were both my kind of people.

I actually have to thank Katie the MSU freshmen for my ever having met them, as I was feeling anti-social (this is common for me when enduring any long form of travel) and would have just gone to sleep if only she would have been satisfied playing solitaire. She chose to sit in the booth directly across the aisle from the California couple and as they did turn out to be my kind of people, they, quite naturally, enfolded us within their conversation.

Turns out, they had taken a plane from Cali to Chi-Town, but, Nazy had never ridden a train before and dearly wanted to try it out. Jeff had business in Philadelphia, but also had time to spare and decided to give his dear wife of 3 years (did I mention they were man and wife? MAN AND WIFE!) the thrill of a lifetime, slopping along in too-tall train cars, dodging the Gestapo tactics of the Amtrak personnel, and eating "gourmet" pizza from the microwave in the club car (observation room in upper level).

We spent 2-3 hours attempting to play cards, but found all of us much too interesting to stop talking long enough to get that going. Jeff told us all about his job (can't remember off the top of my head exactly what it was he does) and Nazy clued us in on her half-Persian background and how to say several key insults in Farsi. We discussed subjects ranging from real estate opportunities across the country to politics to religion to what kind of flooring works best when you have a couple gigantic dogs and live five miles from the beach (an hour and a half by car). We took turns guarding the upper level while two of us would go downstairs, open the "do not open" windows, and send smoke hurtling out of our lungs and into the open air. Nazy wanted to go below and get stoned, but Jeff was much too nervous, despite the kind bud calling to him from their sleeper car.

Oh! Remember when I mentioned previously that apparently all train personnel are DICKS!?? I found out for sure via Jeff and Nazy. Think back also to when I said that the Kindly Kitchen Manager and the Nutty Conductor apologized profusely for not being able to show us what the sleeper cars looked like due to a full booking. Turns out it was all lies and they were all lazy!! Katie the MSU freshmen (still obsessed about seeing a sleeper car (turns out when she purchased her ticket online, she had struggled between choosing a seat in coach, and paying the extra $70-100 for a cozy mattress)) had mentioned our earlier exchange with said Amtrak employees and Jeff didn't hesitate for a moment to fill us in on the fact that more than half of the sleeper cars were totally unoccupied. Jeff and Nazy gave us the tour of the sleeper cars that Andy the Drunk had been unable to give us (did I or did I not tell you that in that part of Andy's tour, we had been turned away by the very same laborers who would 10-15 minutes later tell myself and Katie that there were no available rooms?). Most of them were quite tiny and seemed fairly unaccommodating, but there was one that was gigantic by comparison. Bigger than my apartment, but smaller than most people would like to stay for more than a few hours. The regular ones, such as the one rented by our new friends from California, consisted of the door to the aisle, a mirror and sink, enough room to stand up in front of two chairs with a table between them, and two pallets that folded down as beds (the lower one came down on top of the table, and i assume that you had to stand outside the room, in the aisle, in order to lower the bed and thusly crawl inside). Pretty neat though, really, if you were on a semi-romantic trip, such as I was not, and had plenty of time on your hands. We did go all the way up to the front of the train (where the locomotive is located) and peered through a window in the doorway to the control room. The interesting thing about this was that it was completely NOT interesting. It was like sitting in a glass bottom boat on a sidewalk. Interesting only because I can't explain why it this view looked so bland as I did not have the time to examine it further (the conductor's cabin was between us and the rest of the train and two in our group had gotten a bit jumpy (I don't want to come off as sexist, but, of course, I am talking about the girls.....))

We returned to the observation car (you know) where we finally settled in to several rousing hands of Bull$#!T. If you could hear me say the previous sentence aloud, you would catch the sarcasm when I uttered the word "rousing" for it was almost anything but. If not for our masterful conversational skills, this game may have become number one on my list of world's most boring games (up there with Risk, Settlers, and Scrabble) because the initial pile of cards would grow so quickly that we were all too panic-stricken to call anyone out for fear of collecting the bulk of the deck of cards into our shaky hands. After a few hands and a few verbal observations of the above sentence by various members of our party, the game did get a little more exciting, but then swung in the opposite direction -- in order to not let ourselves get stuck with an enormous amount of cards, we pretty much called out every attempt leave even one card on the table. Anyway... if you made it all the way through this paragraph, then you have a pretty good idea of the exact emotion we were feeling in regard to the game.

¡viva conversación!

I could go on and on about Jeff and Nazy (INVESTMENT BROKER!!! YES!!! That's what Jeff is!) but I'm not going to. Instead I'm going to mention how Katie the MSU freshmen was becoming more and more tired throughout the last few hours and reverting in age exponentially. (I actually almost forgot about this entirely thanks to the calming affect of the presence of the California Kids) Turns out that, basically, she becomes one the most annoying slap-happy people you could ever meet and so foul-mouthed for her innocent looks that it even embarrassed me a little bit (she wasn't bad by modern standards, but it was shocking in the way that seeing a 5-year-old strangle an injured puppy is shocking). If more than a few pleasant moments of silence went by, she would compulsively void this silence by whistling about 5 and half bars of Grease tunes. Also, she became very sassy to Jeff and me. And not in a way that is humorous or cute, but in a way that made us wait till she looked away so that we could raise our brows, eyes gaping and snort laughter to deal with the pain and suffering that we had somehow become forced to endure. Eventually I took it upon myself to make simple, snide remarks that made her feel foolish for behaving in some of her more obnoxious ways and she settled down. Although, possibly this had less to do with me and more to do with the fact that we had arrived in an area very close to Katie's hometown and she became distracted from her task of annoying us and more interested in playing to her better qualities (one of which is an impressive love of her hometown that I regret to realize few possess) and pointing out familiar landmarks that were important to herself and to Pennsylvania as a whole.

Jeff, Nazy, and Katie all got off on the next stop, never to be seen again.

Thus ends chapter two. Be with us next time for the pulse-pounding continuation of this ever-lengthening tale wherein I sleep off the remainder of the journey, we arrive at yet another train station, I mention a few things about this and that, and potentially some things that you may not have been expecting might occur.

The American Dream

It's my turn again? I know I'm the one that
picked Friday because it's my day off and
I could make sure to get it done without having
work interference. But for some reason on fridays
my body and mind work about 70% slower than they do
on a work day.

Anyway, every so often I try to come up with
interesting things I could sell on ebay to make a
couple extra bucks. I think about the piece of toast
with the face of Jesus and the grampas haunted cane
that have sold for ignoramus amounts of money. Why
can't I sell something like that? First, you have to
have something like that. What do I have that people
could possibly want? That's when I came up with the
perfect idea.

I'd like to sell my vote.

Yeah, you heard me. I'm going to sell one perfectly
legal American presidential vote. Somebody must want
an extra right? This is America, what's more American
than greed? Heck, I'm not using it, never have
(yeah, you heard me) I have never voted, until this
idea came up, I never had any intention to. However,
cash might be incentive enough to get me moving.

Of course, I have a feeling it might be a little bit
illegal to sell my vote, which in my mind is silly
since people sell their votes for measly promises.
Hillary is making a spanking off immigrants who are
hoping she will make it easier to get citizenship.
Everyone is hoping to get something out of their
vote, like a better America. But since I am not
that foolish, Just give me cash!

So I might have to sell something else like....
The Opportunity to Persuade Me To Vote For the
Candidate Of Your Choice With The Clear Understanding
That I Am Easily Swayed.

The winner would be allowed to email me, call me,
invite the candidate of their choice to my house to
meet with me. As long as I don't believe your candidate
is the devil incarnate, I'll probably vote for them.
Because in the end, I'm just disillusioned enough to
understand that no candidate really gives a rats flatus
about a middle class white 20 year old, nobody is making
promises to me.

I'm not an immigrant, I'm not a baby boomer, I'm not
interested in marrying someone of the same sex,
I have no real opinion about Iraq, and I am not in
need of health insurance or anymore education. I'm
not worried about my freedom and I'm not really worried
about my safety, I'm not worried that they'll outsource
my library, and sadly I don't really care if psychological
torture is still torture.

In the end, I'd like a president to work towards
alternative energy, cleaner environment, secure
economy. You don't have to be a democrat, republican,
liberal, right wing, fundamentalist, or a compassionate
conservative. You just have to be a president who cares
more about the job than about the politics, about getting
something done instead of playing the game.

Ah, but in the end we all must put away the childish
things. And since my dream president simply doesn't exist,
just give me cash and I'll vote for your dude. Heck, give
me cash and I'll pretend I still believe in Santa.

Cry Freedom!

While people in Taiwan and Darfur are still living difficult lives without some of their most basic rights as human beings, I'm experiencing a bit of the pain here on my side of the pond. My liberties are threatened by a political sandstorm, and I'm beginning to fear that my future will soon look as bleak as that of my brothers and sisters in South Africa.

I refer, of course, to the Hollywood writers' strike which has darkened the halls of the Ed Sullivan theatre (where Letterman's late night is taped), cut off my supply of Stephen Colbert, and seeks to stop new episode airings of "Chuck" as soon as December.

I really don't have a side in this squabble except for my own. Lost in the great debate on Capitol Hill about national health insurance, is the fact that millions are still uninsured (and in poor health) while the policy fight is going forth. So is the case here. Who's looking out for my best interests, while the two sides are deciding (or currently, not deciding) how to split their billions?

Some out there are saying, "Look, how hard can it really be to script a television show?", and in response I only need point in the direction of Bionic Woman. It is a rare gift exhibited by those in the WGA (Writer's Guild of America), and we should not expect to have any sort of meaningful existence until this dispute is resolved. For America, Hollywood! For America, WGA! Cease this bloodletting!

Sidenote: Another consequence of this great disaster will be a sharp increase in reality programming, the longer the strike goes on. Apparently "writers" aren't needed to film a strong reality show (that phrase seems like a contradiction in terms), so the networks are upping the orders for more unscripted, boring-as-hell reality drivel.

podcasts and cutthroat bitch

How great are podcasts? Subscribe, refresh, experience great entertainment. I guess they are millions of podcasts now and there’s no way you can ever get to them all, but I’ve found several ones that I can’t live without.

Best Night Ever. Daily snippets that funnel into the Best Week Ever on VH1. Watching these makes you wonder how many reality shows can exist and how long this niche programming will last. It may be that is here to stay. Sitcoms, drama, documentary, reality TV. This show gets an A for snarkiness.

World Soccer Daily. This is heaven for a soccer fan. Informative, passionate, interesting. Yes they are biased but who cares? They way they turn a blind eye to “their” teams’ deficiencies, while ripping everyone is great. One of the best parts of the show is the nickname they gave to Landon Donovan—Landy Cakes. Hilarious. Every day at 2 hours is hard to keep up with. The Soccernet podcast is only an hour or less twice a week. Anyway, this is a great show. I’m not sure how I’m going to be able to keep up with this and the Tony Kornheiser show when he comes back from Monday Night Football, but I’m willing to try.

Roots Rock Radio. A monthly show dedicated to music that you will never hear on radio. Blues, rockabilly, country, folk, anything that isn’t POP. Has a very homey feel and I’ve already heard some great music. As I have time, I’m going to go back and get older shows. I’m still looking for a podcast for American Routes on PBS but haven’t found it yet. This will do for now.

I’ve sort of given up on the Dennis Miller podcast. He’s on locally now, so I feel I can get a fix if I really need it. I don’t know. TK is ok with the guest host, but it’s just not the same. Notes from the Underground is back. The last one I listened to, I didn’t like a single song they played. Hopefully the next show is better.

If I could listen to podcasts and watch soccer all day, I might be happy. It would definitely be a step closer. Add cigars and beer, a box of Krispy Kremes and then we’d be talking.

Watched the latest episode of House (11/6/07). Two medical cases, some interesting interplay between characters old and new. Cutthroat bitch. How can she still be around? She doesn’t do anything. She waits for other people to make a mistake and undermines them in such a way as to present herself in a better light. She's like Sanjaya from American Idol. Her little schtick is old. I’m done with the hiring shenanigans. Let’s pick a team and have them battle it out with the old team. Anyway the exchanges between House and the CIA doctor were classic. The show is a lot better. But I’m right in saying that House doesn’t pop pills every 5 seconds, right? Is that because that tic is not as important? Or does it mean he’s overcome his addiction? His line two episodes ago about knowing what Vicodin tastes like while Cuddy might not know what her birth control tastes like was hilarious. By the way, Tom let me know about a great blog that deals with the medical aspects of the show, politedissent.com.

Coming Soon

Sorry for the delay in Mr. Harris' Wild Ride -- Part TWO
Pending approval, you will see this installment in it's appointed spot for Monday very soon (likely tomorrow, since i don't think Brandon is set up yet, you guys will need SOMETHING to read.....)
again.... big apologies from right here

Home Economics

I would have said a year ago, maybe even 6 months ago, that I can't stand living in a messy place. I don't like clutter and I don't like dirt. I do not often frequent my husbands office because it's usually the messiest place in our house and since I have no idea how he would like things organized (which after 5 years I must assume that he doesn't) and so much things are in piles on the floor with only a small path to the desk and the closet. However, I think my priorities have changed with working full time and commuting so far.

The small amount of free time I have nowadays, I don't care to take up with doing laundry and cleaning the kitchen (which unfortunately you have to do when on those rare occasions you choose to cook). I like to read, I read a lot, but I'm also actually a pretty slow reader so it takes a lot of time. So when I'm home and I'm finally relaxing after a day of trying to be an extrovert when I am naturally an introvert (which is exhausting) I have to choose between folding the laundry that's been sitting in a basket for a week, or reading my book in the bathtub...hmmmm

I understand there are an awful lot of single guys on this website so you might be reading this thinking to yourself "Who cares? I couldn't care less if you lived in the back of your garage without plumbing!" and to a point, you're right. Most people who visit us don't care if there are dishes in the sink or a basket of laundry in the living room. But I have to admit, it's gotten a little worse than that.

Up until this morning there has been two loads of laundry on the floor in our living room that was slowly co-mingling with a growing pile of dirty laundry for the last 3 weeks until we could no longer tell where one pile ended and the other began and there was no longer a floor but only a small hiking path up the side of the mountain.

Along with that, our kitchen was beginning to have a distinct smell to it (hint: when you make broccoli it's best to do dishes right away, broccoli smell is invasive).

And the last thing I will mention, and I'm am NOT proud of this. Our toilet has certain things growing on the inside that I'm pretty sure are related to the mold family. I can't be positive, but mostly I just don't look and get out as fast as I can.

What's really interesting is the conversations this situation has led to.

Ben: "You dumped the clean clothes on the floor!"
Crystal: "You put them on the bed. I wanted to go to sleep."
Ben: "So why didn't you put them away?"
Crystal: "Why exactly did you pile them on the bed?"
Ben: "So that you would put them away."
Crystal: "Is that why you make nice neat piles of all the dirty dishes?"
Ben: "Yes"
Crystal: "Instead of just loading the dishwasher?"
Ben: "...Yes!"

There have been times when I purposely didn't clean up stuff just to see at what point it would start bothering Ben. I have never actually found his breaking point, I think I would go insane before that ever happened.

Ben: "The garbage is getting full"
Crystal: "Is that why you're so delicately laying that on the top of the pile that's already overflowing?"
Ben: "Yeah, as long as it doesn't fall..."
Crystal: "How much more are you going to put on top?"
Ben: "Until all the garbage magically disappears and the can is empty again."
Crystal: "Hmmm"

Ben is actually fairly good at helping around the house, but again, communication is key. And when communication is working then normally all is well. But considering my schedule and his hectic school schedule, we are blind, deaf, and apparently willing to put up with the smell of our habitat.

Sometimes, when it's really bad, I think to myself, "Maybe we can just move and leave everything dirty right where it is".

Boxing

I don't understand all of this fury over the release of the new game "Manhunt 2". The game has been banned in Britain, and this week Target announced that they would not carry this video game in their stores because it was "too violent".

Part of Target's reasoning is that Rockstar Games (the same company that gave us Grand Theft Auto) hid much of the game's more gruesome content in an area of the game code that has to be unlocked to be viewed, a process that is apparently a lot easier to do than it should be. It was the hiding of this content that enabled the game to earn an "M" rating from the ERSB (the video games ratings counsel). Many believe the "M" for Mature rating is too mild in light of the existing and hidden content of the game.

The Nintendo Wii, for example, allows you to use motion-sensing controllers to simulate different game actions, so "therefore to stab you're gonna mimic a stabbing motion, to swing a sledgehammer or a shovel you would do the same." So what's the big deal? Kids are going to need to learn how to swing sledgehammers one day if they are going to learn the kind of handy-man work ethic that contributing members of society should be. Maybe if games like Manhunt 2 had been around when I was a kid, I would be better able to help out around the house when we're, say, digging a trench or something.

Furthermore, I don't see what's so wrong with allowing potential criminals to practice their craft at home before they take it into the real world. They deserve the chance to hone their vocational skills just like many other workers. Do we protest Richard Hamilton the opportunity to shoot jumpers at the gym when he's not playing in regular games? Personally, I would prefer an educated and practiced criminal on the streets than the sort of reckless thugs that are now all too common. Better that my mugger knows the precise points at where to hit me so that I am only incapacitated rather than accidentally murdered.

Finally, the quest to unlock the hidden game code will teach younger players how to search effectively on the internet for information, a skill that is becoming more and more valuable as our technological age progresses. Why would we deny our kids this "teachable moment" when they are at their most eager to learn?

Join with me in insisting that Target recant its stance and offer this important cultural milestone for sale throughout its chain of stores!

Besides, if my friend RB can have this much difficulty becoming a boxer by using the Wii, how many future slayers do we really expect to create with a game like Manhunt 2?

futbol and movies

What a weekend of soccer.

Saturday morning was Arsenal v Manchester United. 1 v 2, the biggest game of the year so far. The first half was dreck. Hleb was the best player for the first fifteen minutes, but then Anderson shut him down. Adebayor was left 20 yards from goal and was ineffective. Ronaldo was, how shall we say, muted. The goal from Rooney, or Gallas, came from good build up and wing play. It wasn’t the cleanest of finishes and I’m not sure that United even deserved it. Fabregas’ equalizer right after halftime was sweet. Great effort from Arsenal. The second half was much more open. Arsenal’s best opportunities came from outside the penalty area, and United was dangerous with the few chances they created. The game changed with the introduction of Saha. His past to create the second goal was exquisite. Truly a magical moment and a glimpse into yet another level United could hit if he stays healthy. Arsenal pushed forward and drew level at the death. They deserved it and both teams earned a share of the points. What a season it could be. It could ’99 all over again with United and Arsenal fighting for the domestic prizes.

Sunday afternoon was the big Italian clash between Juventus and Inter Milan. Without going into an extensive record of Italian soccer, let’s just say there’s not a lot of good will between the two teams. Inter is in first and has not lost this season. Juventus came in a couple of points below, and this same served as another measuring stick for their return to Serie A. The game started and stayed at a frenetic pace. Rarely do you see an Italian game where the game is played end to end of the entire 90 minutes. It was what I expected from the English game, with the Italian game expected to be cautious. The roles were reversed and both teams threw everything forward in the search for 3 points. Figo had a nice game for Inter and Javier Zanetti worked really hard. As for Juventus, Cheilleni owned Ibrahamovic in a match up that drew the attention of the match. Del Piero had an OK game, but Nedved was diabolical. Not a very good performance. The substitution of these two players changed the game for Juve, as they were able to finally cancel out Julio Cruz’s clinical finish at the end of the first half. Camronasi came right on and took the game to Inter and Iaquinta threw his body around as only he can. 1-1 was the final and a share of the points was fair.

So two games in two different leagues between the two biggest teams. It was awesome and it’s on to the Champions League in midweek.

That euphoria was tempered by two movies that I saw recently.

Lonesome Jim. Directed by Steve Buschemi and starring Casey Affleck and Liv Tyler. If you ever need to get depressed, watch this movie. If you need to compare your life against some loser's to increase your self esteem, watch this movie. Ugh.

Taxi Driver. Supposedly a classic, but I have to say that I wasn't that impressed. The pace of the movie was unbearable. Robert DeNiro did a great job of playing an unhinged, desperate Vietnam vet, and the interplay between Shepard and Brooks was good, sort of a sitcom vibe, but that was about it. Reading several reviews, it looks like I missed out several key aspects of the film. That is entirely possible. Maybe I need to see it again to catch the nightmarish isolation of Bickle as he wades through a hellish urban existence. Or maybe I can just say the world is full of evil and that some people snap because it.