East Tennessee PSA

Sorry for my absence, but I have been following the example of Crystal and making a big move. My family has finally made the move from the mountains of East Tennessee to the rolling bluegrass covered hills of Central Kentucky. As a service to you, I thought I would pass along a few customs, mannerisms, and colloquialisms that I have picked up from this area. Perhaps if you ever find yourself in East Tennesse, this information will come in handy.

You don’t jam your finger(s) you “stove” them. I remember that I was playing basketball and jammed a finger and another player looked and me and said, “Did ya stove it?” I looked at him like he was a moron and said, “No, I jammed my finger.” He walked off unconcerned.

If you ask someone to do something, don’t be startled if they politely reply, “I wouldn’t care to.” Where I come from, that means, “No I don’t want to.” But down here it means, “I would be happy to.” We say “I don’t care for something” but that is not what “I wouldn’t care to” means. Rather, it means that the person would not mind doing whatever you are asking of them.

Just an annoying word that I have heard other places as well – the part of the house or stove that carries smoke from a fire away is called a “chimney” not a “chimley.”

Typically, if I want a light or power on, I will say, “Could you turn it on/off?” I also might substitute the verb “flip” or “switch” for turn. Well, not so down here. Most people say “cut it on/off.” At first I was annoyed by this usage. But the more I think about it, the more technically correct it is. Not every switch will involve turning. But if you want something off you must cut the power to it in whatever way the mechanical or electrical engineer sees fit.

Getting directions is always fun. Every road has 3 names, none of which is actually on a sign. The locals have different names for roads and no concept of mileage. Of course, there are no straight roads so it is a touch more difficult when things are not laid out in mile blocks. Once I was asking about the location of a restaurant and someone told me it was on “the 4-lane.” Most roads are 2 lanes, but more than one 4-lane road exists in Bristol. What I didn’t understand then was that there was 1 most important 4-lane that ran through the heart of the city.

There are plenty of others to be sure. This post is just a sampling of what you will encounter here in East Tennessee. It is a beautiful place and the people possess a keen understanding of how to butcher the English language. So come and visit some time. But be aware – you are a Yankee and you are on your own.

PS – don’t head down the hollers at night.