I was thinking today about the subject of death.
My mortality is always something that is on my mind. I wonder how long I have left. I worry if my children will be taken care of. I think that my parents are getting older. I think of all the weddings and the funerals I've attended the last couple of years. I've officiated a couple weddings. I've never officiated a funeral. The funerals I've been to, I always remember the comfort given by the officiating pastor.
There is something comfortable in that kind of formality. It is interesting that at times when most people don't want to be around church, they also find comfort in having the formality of religion there at their most mortal moments. It made me think of the community role of the pastor. After taking this last class on public relations and marketing in the health care industry (I'm working on my Master of Arts in Health Administration), I am starting to see how the pastor is the public relations agent for God in the community. Even if the community doesn't subscribe to Jesus in their regular lives, at the points of formality and mortality, they seek an agent of God for His approval.
This got me thinking about the house churches. Has there been a funeral officiated by any of the house churches yet? I know you are mostly young adults and the churches are fairly new, so the probability is low, but I didn't know. I was just wondering how it went or how it would be handled. Would one of you officiate? Would you call in a professional from another church? Who performs the weddings? Has there been a wedding? Or, do you rely on other churches to provide that sort of service?
It also got me thinking about the opportunities for ministry and pastoral care that are missed because of a lack of dying people, seniors. I think of the amazing work that the seniors at Shannon's church accomplish and how that would never be possible in the house churches. They are a vibrant community unto themselves and accomplish so much because of their love for Jesus and their love for the congregation.
I used to scoff at that church and how old they were. I scoffed at Shannon for staying there so long to "just officiate funerals" for the dying members. I served with them one Saturday. Every other week or so about 20 of them get together and prepare food for the homeless in the inner-city of Detroit and then drive down and distribute it. They have so much joy.
I remember the amazing goodness they had in their hearts for the youth ministry in that little church. They would give of themselves beyond their capability for the chance to make a difference in the lives of the children there.
I think the funerals in that place aren't as sad as most. Shannon's had his lion's share of funeral officiating opportunities, I think. I think they would tend to be more celebrations of the lasting legacies of the great-hearted servants that they are. I can see why Shannon has stayed for so long. He is so patient in leading them. I'm really proud of him.
I miss those opportunities to be with the aging. We don't see many of them at my mega church either. They annoy me at work. They can't see or hear very well. They drive slow. They have a funny smell. But I miss them.
You know what, I just got a job posting in my email. Hospice is looking for a chaplain. Maybe I'll send them my resume.
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7 comments:
Thanks, it's nice to have someone notice how freakin' awesome I am.
Seriously though, I agree that the pastor is the public relations guy. However, I also think it is a bit unfortunate. I mean, why shouldn't any and every Spirit-filled follower of Jesus be the light and the body?
I love the idea of the house church, it seems like a great idea. I would be interested to see how they do things like funerals and weddings too. But I would expect that they could do them really well.
If you became a hospice chaplain, I would laugh my pants off. Don't get me wrong. I think you could do a good job, a really good job. You'd probably be much better at ministering to them than I am given that you are much more social than I am. But for the guy who sometimes prides himself on being the most heartless butt hole around, it would just be funny.
Come on, you know by now that the hardest cases are the most sensitive underneath it all. That's how we know how to hurt others. We create the shell of hostility around us to protect us from being hurt by others.
"Inside the cruelest person is the most sensitive person who uses pain as a defense against it."-Brandon Caroland
Yup, I have the audacity to quote myself. That's how I see my self as an ass hole. Not as heartless, but as hard-hearted.
P.S. There are two places where you could have said "ass" and you didn't. You essentially wimped out. I think Driscoll would have said "ass" or "hippie queer ass".
I will answer in broad strokes and talk more about the church in general because the distinction here is not between house church and santuary church but between established church and church plant.
A church without elderly people does not have all that many opportunities to conduct funeral services. I would also say that it is sad to be in a church without elderly people. That is one of the disadvantages of a church plant because the elderly are not likely going to switch to a new church.
I know the church I currently attend does not have a paid minister but funerals and weddings are still conducted by the leadership of the church. I would assume that those who are the leaders in house churches would conduct the services as needed as long as the state allowed them to legally do so.
This is funny because Lindsay and I were talking yesterday about weddings being a party. The problem is that they are a formal party that would have happened around a 100 years ago rather than the type of party we would have if we had a 100 of our friends over to have a good time. They become too stuffy because we do them in a nicely decorated hall. The party seems almost out of place. I have been to a few weddings that were more of the modern-day party rather than a party from a hundred years ago and they were much more enjoyable. Now, if I can only convince my daughters that "not formal" is the way to go. They are only two and eight months right now, so I still have time to prevent them from having that Cinderella ball dream.
Isn't there a place for at least some formality?
I wish I could edit.
I think formality is fine when people die. I am not for getting rid of all formality, just formality when it is damaging to actual interaction with one another. Formality almost seems to be a code word for no interaction, and I think interaction is one of the most important social elements.
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