The Benjamin Brown Friend Application
Please fill out the form truthfully and completely, any forms that are not complete or found to have false information will be disqualified from this and any further friend opportunities. Benjamin Brown is NOT an equal opportunity friend and does base friendships on knowledge of computers, automobiles, tools, science, and street fighting. Benjamin Brown is at At Will friend and friendship can be terminated by either parties at any time.
Name:__________________________________________________
(last) (first) (middle)
Address:_________________________________________________
(street) (apt. #) (state) (zip)
Contact Information: Home____________________________________
Cell_________________________________________
What type of Friendship are you looking for? ___Full Time ___Part Time __Temporary ___Seasonal ___Co-dependent
How did you hear about Benjamin Brown Friend Opportunities?:
___Through a Friend ___Family Member is Friend of Ben ___Through the Web
___On a billboard ___Through the bum on the corner
True or False:
Putting salt in the back of your car or truck will help keep it from sliding on ice: __T __F
Putting oil in boiling water will help keep the noodles from sticking together: __T __F
a baseball bat absorbs part of the energy of the ball when it hits __T __F
Turning on a fan will help cool the air in the room __T __F
Ice will form faster when you use warm water in the ice trays __T __F
Slickery is not a word and should never be used __T __F
Observative is a word and is ok to use __T __F
Fox has canceled every decent show they ever had __T __F
Personality Questionnaire: please choose the option or options that most closely resemble you.
During an argument I tend to: ___Interrupt ___Become belligerent ___always win
___become condescending ___Listen and explain my point as clearly as possible
___Give up and cry ___manipulate til I get my way ___change my opinion based on others theories ___change the subject
In my garage I have: ___ a lot of junk ___many tools you can borrow ___dead bodies
___35 bags of leaves ___a collection of traffic signs ___a hot house of marijuana
I have skills in: ___computers ___video games ___automobile repair ___basic home repair
___boccie ball ___guitar ___photography ___cycling ___nunchucking ___talking smack
___tennis ___cage fighting ___plumbing ___therapeutic massage
The best Star Wars Movie was : ___A New Hope ___Empire Strikes Back ___Return of the Jedi ___The Phantom Menace ___Attack of the Clones ___Revenge of the Sith
the new X-Files movie is: ___Going to blow us all away ___there's a new one? why? ___the best idea Hollywood ever had ___another bad sequel idea ___finally going to answer all of my burning questions
Every decent town requires: ___A barbecue joint ___A strip joint ___wifi in every restaurant ___a wings joint ___a flea market ___a comic book shop ___bike trails
___lots of sprawl ___an urban development blog ___a Starbucks ___mandatory recycling ___a surplus/ thrift shop ___a Banana Republic ___a Porsche Dealership
My ideal weekend would be: ___spent in a drunken haze ___working on someones roof __fixing a computer ___watching lots of movies ___building a robot ___at Comicon ___camping ___golfing ___at a rabbit show ___knitting a tea cozy ___scrap booking
___hunting and trapping ___playing Settlers ___Paintballing ___Talking about our feelings
Disclaimer: Any and all information provided in this application can and will be used to make other people laugh at you. Benjamin Brown does not claim any responsibility for any offensive or inappropriate material mentioned in this application. Filling out this application does not imply that you are or ever will be a friend of Benjamin Brown. Applications will be held for 60 days, after 60 days we will forget where we put them and or feed them to the dog. Applications that smell like food will be reviewed first, applications with no distinct smell will be reviewed on a first come first serve basis, applications that smell funny in anyway will be given directly to the dog. To review the status of your application please call: 1-800-2363736, ask for Margie, hum the tune from My Two Dads, roll up a 20 dollar bill and stick it through the little holes in the mouth piece, and successfully lick your nose. Then email brownmlis 'at' gmail.com and ask about the status of your application.
Seriously folks, by the time we actually find people we want for friends we'll be so desperate we scare them away.
Name:__________________________________________________
(last) (first) (middle)
Address:_________________________________________________
(street) (apt. #) (state) (zip)
Contact Information: Home____________________________________
Cell_________________________________________
What type of Friendship are you looking for? ___Full Time ___Part Time __Temporary ___Seasonal ___Co-dependent
How did you hear about Benjamin Brown Friend Opportunities?:
___Through a Friend ___Family Member is Friend of Ben ___Through the Web
___On a billboard ___Through the bum on the corner
True or False:
Putting salt in the back of your car or truck will help keep it from sliding on ice: __T __F
Putting oil in boiling water will help keep the noodles from sticking together: __T __F
a baseball bat absorbs part of the energy of the ball when it hits __T __F
Turning on a fan will help cool the air in the room __T __F
Ice will form faster when you use warm water in the ice trays __T __F
Slickery is not a word and should never be used __T __F
Observative is a word and is ok to use __T __F
Fox has canceled every decent show they ever had __T __F
Personality Questionnaire: please choose the option or options that most closely resemble you.
During an argument I tend to: ___Interrupt ___Become belligerent ___always win
___become condescending ___Listen and explain my point as clearly as possible
___Give up and cry ___manipulate til I get my way ___change my opinion based on others theories ___change the subject
In my garage I have: ___ a lot of junk ___many tools you can borrow ___dead bodies
___35 bags of leaves ___a collection of traffic signs ___a hot house of marijuana
I have skills in: ___computers ___video games ___automobile repair ___basic home repair
___boccie ball ___guitar ___photography ___cycling ___nunchucking ___talking smack
___tennis ___cage fighting ___plumbing ___therapeutic massage
The best Star Wars Movie was : ___A New Hope ___Empire Strikes Back ___Return of the Jedi ___The Phantom Menace ___Attack of the Clones ___Revenge of the Sith
the new X-Files movie is: ___Going to blow us all away ___there's a new one? why? ___the best idea Hollywood ever had ___another bad sequel idea ___finally going to answer all of my burning questions
Every decent town requires: ___A barbecue joint ___A strip joint ___wifi in every restaurant ___a wings joint ___a flea market ___a comic book shop ___bike trails
___lots of sprawl ___an urban development blog ___a Starbucks ___mandatory recycling ___a surplus/ thrift shop ___a Banana Republic ___a Porsche Dealership
My ideal weekend would be: ___spent in a drunken haze ___working on someones roof __fixing a computer ___watching lots of movies ___building a robot ___at Comicon ___camping ___golfing ___at a rabbit show ___knitting a tea cozy ___scrap booking
___hunting and trapping ___playing Settlers ___Paintballing ___Talking about our feelings
Disclaimer: Any and all information provided in this application can and will be used to make other people laugh at you. Benjamin Brown does not claim any responsibility for any offensive or inappropriate material mentioned in this application. Filling out this application does not imply that you are or ever will be a friend of Benjamin Brown. Applications will be held for 60 days, after 60 days we will forget where we put them and or feed them to the dog. Applications that smell like food will be reviewed first, applications with no distinct smell will be reviewed on a first come first serve basis, applications that smell funny in anyway will be given directly to the dog. To review the status of your application please call: 1-800-2363736, ask for Margie, hum the tune from My Two Dads, roll up a 20 dollar bill and stick it through the little holes in the mouth piece, and successfully lick your nose. Then email brownmlis 'at' gmail.com and ask about the status of your application.
Seriously folks, by the time we actually find people we want for friends we'll be so desperate we scare them away.
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